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I pull his hand away, not scared of seeing death. I’ve come close enough to it already and survived. I’m not afraid any longer.
“Tell me this first,” I say as we enter the control room. “Before anything. Did you really mean it?”
I turn to him, looking into his eyes and knowing that he’s aware of what I’m talking about. I doubt it’s left his mind since he said those precious words, but I need to hear them again. I need to see him say it and mean it before I can allow myself to stop resisting him.
He closes the door, leaving us alone in silence, and returns to me. His green eyes dance with emotion, and I want to cry at how beautiful he is. I know straight away that he meant what he said, but I doubt I could ever get tired of hearing it.
Jasha takes a deep breath, and I can see that he’s gathering his thoughts. When he speaks, his voice is even deeper and slower than usual, like he’s tasting every word as it comes out. “Lola,” he says, running a hand through his hair, “every word I said to you was true. And it wasn’t just because of the situation or the danger. I really feel this way.”
He takes a step closer, the air between us thickening with tension. “When I said I love you, I meant it with every fiber of my being. I’ve been fighting it, trying to protect you, to protect myself, but I can’t deny it any longer.” His eyes search mine, filled with vulnerability and hope. “I love you, Lola. And I want to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
My heart skips a beat, the weight of his confession taking me by surprise. All the fear and doubt that had plagued me melts away.
Taking a shaky breath, I let the walls around my heart crumble. “Jasha,” I whisper, tears streaming down my face, “I love you too.” The admission feels like a weight lifted from my shoulders.
Finally, we can be free to love each other like we should’ve all along.
He pulls me into his embrace, holding me tightly against his chest. The rhythmic beating of his heart soothes my own racing one.
It feels like home with Jasha. I’ve been traveling for so long, wandering from place to place without anywhere to call mine, and now I’ve finally found it.
Pulling back slightly, I wipe the tears from my eyes and smile. “Thank you,” I say, meeting his gaze again. It’s deep and intense, so much so that I almost have to look away.
Jasha kneels in front of me, placing his hand gently on my stomach. “Our family,” he whispers, his voice strained with emotion. “Our future.” He looks up at me, eyes filled with love and adoration. “Thankyou, Lola.”
Tears come to my eyes again, and I can’t control them. I pull Jasha against my belly, holding him there for as long as I can before he needs to come away to breathe again. For the first time in my life, I have a man who will protect me, care for me, and treat me like I was told I should be treated by my mother.
Jasha is every woman’s dream come true. Once you manage to get past those thick walls of defensiveness, he’s the purest lover a woman could have.
And I get to call him mine.
I feel a strong buzz of energy, position motivation for the rest of the journey as I return to my seat and start the train. The controls no longer feel foreign to me. They fit in my hands just right now that Jasha is standing proudly by my side.
I know this is the last time I’ll drive a commercial train again, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever be tasked with driving another one ever. Whatever went down in the last twenty-four hours almost certainly makes me a criminal, and when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I see myself going on Bratva missions with Jasha in the future if he lets me.
But all that is for another day. Right now, I’m just happy to be coming to my new home in Texas to meet Nikolai and his wife. If they’re anything like Jasha, I know I’ll love them to death.
The train shudders to life, and we’re on our way again. The fuel tank is already half empty, but we won’t need to fear another attack. We can stop and refuel in peace this time.
“So Lorenzo is really dead,” I say, leaning back from the controls once the route is set.
Jasha nods, his expression tired now. I can see how the stress of this journey has affected him.
I don’t even want to imagine what I look like right now. No mirrors, please!
“Lorenzo is very dead,” Jasha says, letting out a deep sigh. “I’m sure that Nikolai will be relieved to hear about it, but there’s always another enemy. You know, this shit never ends.”
“But we’re safe now, right?”
“For now…”
“And then what?” I ask, feeling a sudden spike of anxiety.
“Well,” he begins, shifting weight to his other foot, “There are a lot of things that I’m going to have to do differently now that we’re together. The baby makes it even more interesting, but that’s not a bad thing. We just have to take safety a lot more seriously.”
“I’m sure your brother knows a lot about that. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”
“Shit, yeah. I meant to call him,” he says, patting his pockets in search of his phone. “Just wait a minute.”
