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I can’t have that happen. These guys have been with me forever, through everything. I can’t ruin what we have. Not only are they my best friends and my pack, but they are also my protection as well. I wouldn’t feel safe with anyone else in the world but them.
Fuck.I shake my head sadly as it hits me all over again.What is wrong with me?
She entranced me, that’s the real issue. Clara Davies captivated me in a way that I didn’t know I could be captivated. If it hadn’t been for Mason and the stake he’d already claimed on her, I might be thinking that she’s my mate. I’ve certainly never felt a connection so strong before. Even thinking about it now, with about a week of distance, it brings a lump to the base of my throat, and I can hardly breathe. I hate it. It really is utterly overwhelming.
No, I loved it. I loved touching her and having her touch me as well. Her fingers were velvety soft and smooth, and the feel of them grazing my rock hard cock, bringing me way passed the point of no return, was incredible. I adored it. I never wanted the moment to end. If I hadn’t heard the footsteps of my boss returning, then I might still be there with her now, locked in her arms, embracing that electrifying sensation that I loved.
Every time I close my eyes, there she is, infiltrating my dreams. Every time I try to sleep, Clara overcomes all of my dreams. She’s magical. She’s perfect. She’s my dream girl. I hate the fact that I know I can’t have her. But worse than that, I might have to act happy when my alpha mates with her and claims her for real. Then she will be around all the time, a dark reminder of our secret and a constant symbol of what I will never have.
That is devastating. It’s unnerving and kinda sickening as well. I don’t know what I’ll do, or if I’ll be able to handle it. But where the hell does that leave me? I truly don’t know.
“Hey, buddy.” Sledge’s voice beside me is unexpected. I jump, showing how deep in thought I was. Not good for someone who was supposed to be watching this pack intently to make sure they aren’t planning an attack. “I brought a sniper rifle for you.”
“You did?” I take the gun from him, comfortably holding it in my hands, but that doesn’t make it any less surprising that it’s here. “Why the weapon?”
“Cain finally talked Mason around and made him see that we need to take action.” Sledge comfortably takes a seat beside me, holding on to a gun of his own. “Cain believes that this pack has already anointed a new alpha, which isn’t what Mason wanted. He wanted the stragglers to join us, to make our numbers bigger and better.”
“Right,” I agree, knowing all of this. “So what are we doing now with these?”
“Now, we need to take out the new alpha. Let them know that we won’t stop until they join us. New alphas won’t change our intentions. They have to give in, and that’s that.”
“We’re going to shoot the new alpha?” I ask in shock. I like having my service rifle with me—there’s a reason I refused to leave the army without it—but it isn’t exactly something we use in everyday life. “Then what? Disappear before they attack back? Doesn’t that seem reckless? Like, the more we target them, the more likely they will attack back.”
Sledge shrugs. “I think that’s what Cain wants. I don’t know about Mason, though.”
As we sit side by side, checking out the pack through the sniper scope, it reminds me of the old days. Back when we were all military men together. The good old days.
“We’ve seen some action in our time, haven’t we?” Sledge asks, proving that he’s thinking along the same tracks as me. “This is reminiscent. I didn’t think we would ever have to relive those days, did you? It’s crazy to be here like this now.”
“Oh yeah, we certainly had some times,” I laugh back. “Hard times, some of them, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. If we hadn’t gone through all that, we wouldn’t be here now. We wouldn’t have a pack as good as we do.”
I smile at Sledge, grateful to have him in my life. I truly do believe that us four were brought together for a reason. Obviously a man like Mason Thompson was always going to be the alpha for a very strong pack. I’m just glad that we ended up all together in the end.
When I first joined the military, I was very quiet and unsure of myself. I didn’t really have an identity. I didn’t know who I was. I lived in a small town where being a shifter was something I felt like I had to hide. Anything that made me stand out also made me a target. I was picked on enough and didn’t want to make it worse.
But I met Mason, Sledge, and Cain, who accepted me easily and befriended me. They helped me to see who I was and helped me to really be me. I don’t know who I would be without them. I hope I never have to find out either…
Just another reason to feel absolutely horrible for what happened between Clara and I…
“Wow, it really is just women left, huh?” Sledge notes as he peers through his scope. “I guess Cain really did make good on his word. He said he wanted all the men dead, and I guess that’s what he did. I bet he even remained behind after we all left.”
“You think Cain would do that?” Why do I even ask this? I know what Cain is like, of course he did this. If he has a mission in mind, he becomes very single-minded.
“I wouldn’t mind if these women joined our pack,” Sledge continues, completely ignoring my redundant question. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they? We could use some more women to fight alongside us. I’m sick of all the guys all the time. With how busy Mason has us, we don’t have nearly enough time to actually meet anyone nice.”
Guilt overflows me once more. I don’t have much time to meet women, but that doesn’t excuse what happened. Sometimes I think I should just confess to Mason to get it all off my chest so everything will be so much easier. But I know it won’t be like that. I know Mason won’t like it, and he might kick me out. He might never want to see me ever again.
“Anyway, once we take out their next alpha, we might get lucky,” Sledge teases. “There might even be a woman in the mix for you, Adam.”
I swallow hard, doing what I can to ignore that little statement. The banter is always fun with us guys, that’s what helped us get through a lot of our time in the military, but I’m a little too sensitive for it at the moment. I have too much guilt for it.
“Who is that?” I follow Sledge’s eye line as he seems to stiffen up. He’s obviously seen someone interesting, a woman who has captured his attention. If I’m going to have to watch him swoon over someone in that camp, then I at least want to know who it is.
“Who do you mean? Who am I supposed to be looking at, Sledge?”
“The woman coming out of that hut. You can’t really see her face, but there’s something around her neck glowing. It’s like an odd blue color. Can you see that?”
I make an agreeable sound. The crowd might be surrounding that woman, making her impossible to see, but something strange is definitely emanating from her. That blue glow. I don’t know what the hell it is, but I haven’t spotted that all week long, so I’m intrigued. I suck in and hold a deep breath in suspense as I wait. I’m truly on edge.
