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Me and Mason aren’t exactly on the best of terms here. The last time I saw him, I made it pretty clear that I didn’t want to see him again. I was rude, and he was unpleasant to me as well. I don’t know how to tell him I’m having his baby. Knowing Mason, that will make him think that he has an even bigger claim on me. Then he really won’t let my pack leave Chicago… even though Daniella doesn’t think that anyone wants to go. Now that we’ve faced danger, it seems like everyone feels like we’re in a safer place now, that no one will come for us again, so they want to stay.
I don’t know if there have been some party hookups that also have people wanting to stick around, but for now, we aren’t going anywhere, and with this baby growing in my belly, I don’t know if we can move. I don’t know what the etiquette is on this.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Daniella calls into the bathroom. “Do you need anything?”
“I’m good, thanks,” I call back weakly, knowing there’s no chance of her buying it at all. “I just need a moment. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay, because we have food ready. Breakfast, I mean. Do you want anything?”
“No, I don’t think so.” I gag again. The idea of eating anything at the moment is too much for me. “I will just have some coffee if that’s okay?”
I hear Daniella leaning up against the doorframe, probably waiting until I feel ready to confess everything to her. The only problem is that I don’t have the words. I don’t want to tell her what I’m sure she already knows because then it’ll become all too real. Then I will really have to deal with the Mason situation rather than burying my head in the sand.
Eventually, she leaves, and I can lean back and try to catch my breath for a little while. But honestly, none of this is going away. I do need to do something. Maybe if I’m feeling a little stronger this afternoon, then I will swallow my pride and go see Mason. Try and sort this out properly. I might not tell him about our baby just yet, but I will see what we can do. I’ll try and work on the pack situation first.
I don’t want to be absorbed by his pack. I don’t see why we can’t all just co-exist. Brian is gone now. He was clearly the issue, so what’s the big deal? This, to me, seems like some big testosterone fueled nonsense. I’m not interested in playing those games.
I twist the necklace around in my fingers, just like I always do when the anxiety gets the better of me, and I try to remember what it means. I was chosen as the new alpha for a reason, and that’s a responsibility that I take seriously. I need to do what’s right.
Eventually, once I’m pretty sure that I can stand up without vomiting, I rise to my feet and I head out to my pack. It doesn’t escape my notice that they are all exchanging looks, worrying about me, but that isn’t something I’m going to address. Once I’ve had my coffee, I will make a speech, but not about me. About us as a whole.
“Good to see you.” Daniella smiles as she hands me my drink. “You good?”
“I’m feeling much better, thank you. And this will help loads.”
At least I have her, right by my side as my right hand woman. I don’t know what I would do without Daniella to be honest. She has been my rock. I will tell her first, when I’ve worked up the courage to do so. She deserves to know first of all.
I sip my coffee and glance around at everyone, noticing how they are all looking away from me now, trying to act like everything is fine. Even though I have done a lot wrong, I still get the impression that they will all be on my side no matter what happens next, and not just because I’m their alpha, but because I’m also their friend. We have all been through so much together, and we’re a supportive bunch. We’re proving that we don’t need to be violent and always aggressive like these other packs to live, and that’s how I’m sure we all want to keep on going. There’s no need for any lashing out, any trouble, and we certainly don’t need to join the freaking mafia of Chicago… even if I’m carrying the Don’s baby.
“Okay, everyone,” I finally declare as I rise to my feet. “I think it’s time that we have a meeting to discuss what our next move is. I want to know what you all think …”
* * *
This iswhat I need to do,I think anxiously as I stand outside Mason’s mansion again. We treated everything like we’re a democracy, and this is what we all agreed… I need to find a way to make Mason understand that we only want to co-exist now. That we don’t want any more violence, and we don’t want to be forced away, but that we also don’t want to join him either. My ladies are happy with how I’m running things, and that is that.
Only… none of them know how difficult it is for me just to be here. Well, maybe Daniella does. She is the one person who offered to come with me, but I turned her down becauseIhave to face this. I need to sort this out. But even knowing that doesn’t stop my heart from hammering like crazy against my rib cage. It doesn’t stop me from internally freaking the hell out about all of this.
Come on,I tell myself fiercely, trying to get myself moving already.Just do it.
I step forward and raise my fist, about to knock on the door. But I don’t actually get the chance to do that because the door swings right open like someone is expecting me.
“Oh! You’re here.” Sledge stands in front of me, towering over me, frowning at the sight of me. The way that his eyebrows knot together shows my presence is a surprise. I guess he wasn’t watching me on camera or something like that. “What’s going on?”
“I… I need to speak to Mason,” I tell him with a trembling voice. Not the inner strength I wanted to show, but I suppose we’re beyond that now. “It’s urgent.”
“Well, he isn’t here at the moment, but please come in to wait for him.”
Oh God, this always leaves me in trouble. Always. But what else can I do? I don’t want to go back without any news for my pack. They want answers, too, so I nod at Sledge and follow him inside. This house has become oddly familiar to me, but with all the memories clinging to the walls, I don’t know how I feel about it all.
“Come and wait in the conference room. I’m sure Mason will be happy to speak with you there. I can also get you something to drink while you’re here.”
“Always the good hosts,” I can’t help but comment. Because right now, I’m supposed to be the enemy, aren’t I? They hate me for not caving into Mason’s demands. But Sledge is still treating me like I’m someone he needs to care for. “Is there a reason for that?”
Sledge shrugs and smiles, making my heart flutter with excitement. I know I definitely shouldn’t be feeling this way, but whatever Mason awoke in me doesn’t want to calm down, even though I’m pregnant with his child. “There’s no reason not to be nice.”
He makes me a drink, during which time I study him carefully, watching his body movements as he sorts me out. The way he makes my mouth run dry is actually electrifying. The urge to reach out and grab him is almost overwhelming. I almost need to sit on my hands to stop me from reaching out to grab him already because I crave him bad. Seriously, this isnotwhat I’m here for. I’m driving myself insane over here.
“So, you need to talk to Mason, huh?” Sledge asks as he takes a seat across from me. Surprisingly I don’t feel like he’s trying to pry. He’s just asking me in a nice manner, trying to start a conversation. I turn to look at him, wondering what I’m missing. How did I never get to meet Sledge before now? “Anything I might be able to help you with?”
