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“We have seen every side of you, Mason,” Sledge jumps in with further wise words. “We have seen your softest side. If there is something deep here that you wish to discuss with us, then we are here for you. You need to talk to us about this honestly.”
I don’t really have anything to add to the conversation, but I nod along in agreement. All I really want is for Mason to calm down, to climb backward from this ledge of anger that he has been resting on, and to rejoin us in a saner place. Thank God for that.
“You don’t need to play hardball, Mason, not in here,” Sledge continues. “If there is something that you are hiding from us, then we all need to hear it. It’s the only way we can be there for you in the way we should be.”
Mason shakes his head again. What the hell is he doing? This is starting to get ridiculous. I’m not growing impatient with him because I don’t blame him for whatever is happening to him, but I do wish he would simply snap out of it already.
“You don’t understand. This has me torn. You don’t know what’s going on here. You can’t see what’s going on in my head. You don’t know how tortured I am.”
He finally allows his head to fall into his hands as he gives up and collapses into sadness. He finally allows his vulnerable side to shine free, allowing my breath to fall out of my mouth more easily. He isn’t going to murder us all anymore.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says once more. “I don’t know how to handle this. See, Clara is my mate. I am sure of it.” Those words twist in my gut but I do what I can not to let that show. We’re finally getting somewhere. I don’t want to ruin it. “And now I have to attack her. I have to come at her with full force or everyone will see me as weak. I am known in this city for being tough and taking no prisoners. How can I change that?”
None of us quite know what to say to that, not even Adam who is usually good at this sort of thing. Mason has just admitted that his feelings are intense, and that’s probably why he’s acting all crazy, thinking that we are going to betray him.
“So, you want to protect her rather than fight her?” Sledge finally asks. “You want to care for her? So why not bring her into the pack instead? That was part of the original plan anyway, wasn’t it? That way we can all care for her?”
“She doesn’t want to do that.” Mason doesn’t lift his head for even a second. “I have suggested that already, but it isn’t what she wants to do. She wants to keep her pack separate and away from us. I guess that’s the alpha in her. She doesn’t want to lose her power.”
“And the fact that we tore her pack apart beforehand,” Adam jumps in. “I don’t think anyone would be happy about that. I can understand her answer…”
“But we can’t protect her otherwise.” Mason bangs his fist on the desk once more, but there is definitely a different feel to this. It’s frustration rather than rage. He’s annoyed that he can’t control the world around him. I get that. “And if she really is a princess, she will end up being destroyed. The royal family was torn apart for a reason all those years ago. There are still haters out there in the world, and if they find out about her, she will be hunted and killed by them. There will be nothing we can do, especially if she leaves.”
Sickness begins to flow through my body, and I don’t think that’s going to end. The idea of Clara being hurt is too much for me, and I’m definitely not the only one who thinks so. If I didn’t know better, then I would assume that Mason isn’t the only one with feelings for Clara. And I don’t just mean me with that. It’s starting to look like Adam and Sledge are being a little overprotective over Clara too. Fuck, this really is messy, isn’t it? No wonder this is the most tension that we’ve ever had in our pack. It’s no surprise.
“So what’s the plan?” I ask through gritted teeth. “If we don’t want to harm Clara, and she doesn’t want to join us then what are we going to do? Aside from the necklace thing…”
Mason rises to his feet and pads up and down by the table. I can almost see the cogs ticking around in his brain as he tries to think straight. But he can’t. Of course he can’t because he’s all fogged up over Clara. His brain might as well be mush because all he can think about is her.
“I think I need to meet with her again,” he mumbles, almost under his breath. “I will try and make things right. We always seem to fight when we’re in the same room together, but I will do what I can to make things easier. Maybe if we can talk, we can come up with some kind of plan together, right?”
I part my lips, about to say something, but no words come out. The thought of Mason and Clara in a room together alone getting along might be killing me inside, but if he doesn’t make things right, then she might die. Urgh, this is fucked up. This is why I shouldn’t have feelings for anyone ever. They don’t suit me at all. Life is so much easier as a fuck boy.
“Okay, shall we set up a meeting?” Sledge asks Mason. “I think this is a good idea. Because if we can work this out, then there won’t be any need for fighting.”
Adam eagerly agrees with him. “Yes, I think that’s for the best.”
I lean back in my chair and fold my arms across my chest, sinking into my thoughts as I do. There’s so much about this I don’t like, so much about this I don’t want to be a part of, but I suppose if I try to think about this rationally, then it is the best outcome. No violence is best. If we’re on good terms then we can sort everything out. Including this crazy necklace thing. Although, if this necklacedoesmake her royalty, which I have to admit is something that I didn’t consider, then I guess that’s important. She really could end up dead.
Urgh, this is annoying. I smack my palm to my forehead needing my brain to shut off for a while, but of course it doesn’t. All that happens is I earn myself strange looks from everyone.
“I need to go out for a run,” I tell the guys, scraping my chair back loudly. “I need to check the perimeter. You know, make sure that everything is okay…”
I don’t think they’re buying it but I don’t care anymore. I have to get the hell out of here, to burn off some of this excess energy and to try and quiet my brain. As I run when I’m a wolf, I think only of survival, my primal animal side takes over, and that’s definitely what I need right now. More than ever, I need to justbe.
If I’m not careful, Clara will fog up my brain as well, which is a real shame because I’m never going to get time on my own in a room with her. I will never get to see what we could be. I take off running out of the house, shifting as soon as I am able to, and I race deep into the forest, planning to stay this way, off the radar, for a little while. I would much prefer to remain out here until the issues are all resolved to be honest, but I don’t know if that’s going to be possible. This whole thing with Clara might take forever to sort out.
It may even wind up in violence anyway. At this point, I can’t tell. It’s so up in the air that anything could happen. I don’t like that. Not at all…
13
CLARA
Ihold the letter clutched between my fingers as I head toward Mason’s mansion with my heart pounding heavily against my rib cage. I can hardly catch my breath as I head right back into the lion’s den. I don’t know if I would be here if Daniella didn’t push me to come. I told Mason I wouldn’t come here again until he started listening to me, and I intended to stick to that as well. I didn’t plan on going anywhere near him again, but here I am…
I called things off with Mason, and I do still need to keep my hands off him. After everything that he’s done to me, and everything that he’s said which threatens my pack, I don’t want to succumb to temptation, which is why keeping away from him is my best option… but as soon as the letter arrived, Daniella told me that Ineedto take this meeting with Mason. I have to because it’s what’s best for my pack and our future.
She’s made it clear to me that most of the pack wants to stay here in Chicago despite what’s happened. They want us to put roots down here now that Brian is no more. They like the city and they like the wolves in the city. They want us to really stay.
