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“But—” I shake my head. “Did you say you hate your father?”
“Duh, what did you think? That I’d love him just because he happened to impregnate my mother. He was nothing but a sperm donor. But after today, I hate him with every cell in my body.”
She drops her gaze down to her fingers, which are squeezing the air like it’s his imaginary throat.
“I want to rip him to shreds. He was going to slaughter my best friend right in front of me but keep me alive, for the time being. That Russian acted like he was doing me a favor when he had a gun to Star’s head.” She whips her head toward me. “I’m going to kill him.”
I drop my hands around her shoulders. “Whoa, whoa, baby, relax. Just relax.”
She shrugs off my hands and jabs a finger in my face. “Don’t you darebabyme right now. I’m mad at you.” Tears spring from the corners of her eyes. She clenches her fists and waves them in front of my face. “You’ve been ignoring me. You fucked me and then dumped me like I was nothing to you.Nothing!”
“No,” I roar. “You mean everything to me. Everything. But I have to kill that fucker and I thought you cared for him. How could I face you, knowing that I was going to kill him?”
“Wait, what?” She frowns at me, her button nose scrunched up in the most adorable way. “Who are you killing?”
The taxi jerks forward and starts moving. “You’re biological father, Alexei.”
“He just tried to have my best friend butchered in front of me. I begged that man to let her go. I said I’d do anything he wanted. Anything. The bastard responded that I’d have to wait for another chance to prove my usefulness since I’m married. For now, he was to leave me alone, but he’d been warned that I had a soft heart and not to negotiate for Star’s life. I couldn’t do anything to save her.”
Crina buries her face in her hands and collapses into tears again. Her grief pounds inside the taxi like an enormous heartbeat, overtaking every ounce of air. I wrap my arms around her, breathing in her pain, praying that I can draw it out of her and carry it for her.
At the same time, relief rushes through me. She doesn’t hate me for what I’m going to do. I’m so thankful that I attempt to drag her onto my lap, but Crina’s not having any of it. She fights me. Hitting me in the chest and arms. Clawing at my face. I let her take out her anger on me even though I want to grab her hands and reverently kiss them. Kiss them and then kiss every inch of her.
But she needs to get her rage out. And I deserve it. I deserve her wrath. I distanced myself. I ignored her on purpose. I failed to protect her from what happened in the subway. It was only a lucky chance that her father chose not to target her.
Her small fists pelt my head and shoulders. I cover my head, but it’s only for show. It doesn’t hurt. I wish it did. I would relish the pain. I deserve it.
Eventually, her energy flags. Her fists relax and her punches graze me. Finally exhausted, she drops her balled fists, hangs her head, and pants softly. I gently wrap my arms around her, grateful that she’s given me a chance to redeem myself. I bring her to me gently and cradle her in my lap, peppering her wet cheeks with kisses.
“Why did you leave me?” she asks in a small voice. The loss and pain in her tone guts me.
“I was a coward. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt on your face when you realized I’d chosen Cristian over you. I thought it was between revenge for my brother or the love of a father.”
“He is not my father,” she sneers.
“Alexei was right about one thing. You are softhearted. Beneath your tough exterior, you love so hard. How could you not hold a bit of love for him? Even if you told me you didn’t care about him. Life is long. What if you changed your mind and wanted to get to know him at some point? I would have been the one who’d taken him from you. Your husband. I’m supposed to protect you, not kill your father and bring you grief.”
“It’s a moot point now,” she says with a pout, relaxing into me little by little. My heart sings at the way she settles into me, showing me a level of trust I don’t deserve. “He was always creepy and scary, but now I feel nothing but hatred.” She tilts her head and glares at me. “He’s kidnapped me once. He attacked Star. God knows what he’ll do next. He needs to be put down like the rabid dog he is.”
I glance out the taxi window over the East River as we cross over the Fifty-ninth Street Bridge. I let out a discouraged sigh. “Am I’m meant to fail in everything I attempt to do?”
She looks at me sharply. “What do you mean?”
Gazing over the deep flowing water, I explain, “I’ve spent the last five days tracking him. He’s untouchable. He’s surrounded by guards every second of every day. A stranger, much less an enemy like me, could never get close enough to kill him.”
She purses her lips, her eyes boring into the side of my face. I feel the heat of her scrutiny and turn my gaze toward her.
“Maybe not an enemy, but what about a daughter?”
CHAPTER 21
CRINA
I’d lashed out at Marku. Of course, he took it, probably relishing the pain. My shoulders slump, shame weighing them down. I might not have physically hurt him, but I shouldn’t have done that. I was just so hurt. Hurt at the last five days. Hurt at the horror and powerlessness of the attack, orchestrated by the Sperm Donor. Almost losing Star gave me a tiny taste of what Marku had gone through with Cristian.
And that tiny taste was too much for me.
In the subway car, I was trying to keep that thug from hurting Star when a gunshot rang out. I saw her crumple beneath the gangster and thought she’d died. I screeched at the top of my lungs and crashed to the ground, expecting bullets to ricochet off the metal walls of the train.
