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“I am not afraid.” I’m freaking terrified.
He runs a finger down the side of my face and it’s all I can do to not lean into his touch. “It’s okay to be scared. Falling in love is scary. I know I’m scared.”
“You have no idea what fear is.”
He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t? One of my greatest fears is coming true right now.”
What the hell is he talking about now? “What?”
He places his palm against my cheek. “The woman I love is rejecting me.”
Pain pierces through me at his words. He thinks I’m rejecting him?
Because you are,Rebel Harmony points out.
It’s for his own good.
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
“Listen. It’s not you. It’s me.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Darling, I know it’s you. What you don’t know is I’m not giving up.” I open my mouth to respond but he places a finger against my lips. “No. You can spout all the shit you want out of guilt or fear but it’s not changing a thing. I love you. I will always love you.”
“You can’t,” I say against his finger.
“I can feel whatever I want to feel.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll see you later.”
“But you didn’t pack your stuff!” I shout after his retreating figure.
He waves at me in response.
I stare down at the dogs. “He’s not coming back.”
Black Ops barks while Pup Tart and Little Bow Wow cry. I wag my finger at them. “No making me feel bad. I did what needed to be done.”
I walk to the window and watch as Elder drives away. My heart clenches in my chest and a tear flows down my cheek. I swipe it away. I don’t deserve to cry. This is all my fault.
I never should have agreed to the friends with benefits arrangement. Especially considering how irresistible Elder is. But I’ll get over him. Eventually.
Chapter 30
Tell Clementine I’m Robin’s favorite grandmother. ~ Text from Daisy to Elder
“We’re here,” Ashlyn announces as she barges inside my house with Soleil, Eden, and Moon.
I swipe at the tears running down my face. “You can’t burst into my house without any warning.”
“I told you we should have knocked,” Eden says.
Moon snorts. “If we knocked, she would have ignored us.”
“Enough,” Soleil orders before handing me a tissue. “We’re not here to bicker amongst ourselves.”
Ashlyn scrunches up her nose. “We’re not?”
Soleil wags a finger at her. “Are you going to behave or am I going to tell Rowan about how you begged Moon to make red velvet pancakes?”
Ashlyn gasps. “You wouldn’t!”
