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“Okay, let’s ask Carl if he can look into it then.” I glance between the two of them. “For now, let’s just set it aside as an accidental miscommunication and move on. Cool?”
We all look at each other, shrugging and nodding like the whole part about me blowing up at Cooper was no big deal.
But to me, it was a big deal. I was downright mean to him, and I’m not a mean person. I said some horrible things out of anger I never should have said.
To anyone.
And I regret it.
I can’t shake the regret churning inside as we awkwardly move on. I’ve been short with Cooper before, but this felt different. The accusations I spewed at him came from a darker place. A place inside myself that I don’t like.
I glance at Cooper, taking in the intensity of those ice-blue eyes. Maybe thoughts of him sparked an irrational fear of being betrayed again. Of being hurt by someone I’m starting to...
No. I slam the brakes on that thought. I am not ‘starting to’ anything with Cooper Davies. We have a professional relationship, period. So where is this coming from?
The truth stares back at me as I meet his gaze again. I’ve kept Cooper at arm’s length because I feel things I shouldn’t when he’s around. He ignites a flame in me I’ve long since extinguished. I lash out at him because it’s easier to be angry than to accept how he makes me feel.
I need to stop assuming the worst in him. And maybe start looking at the root of my own issues. My heart has been locked away for so long I’d forgotten it could still feel anything at all. But the way he looks at me...it almost makes me believe again.
Almost.
eleven
Lifeless Stars
Cooper
I sit across from Sloane in her office, hyper-aware that we’re completely alone. The ticking clock and hum of the mini-fridge emphasize the stillness. While I’ve been here before, I take in the musical trappings surrounding her - the stacks of songwriting books, and the photos on the walls. This space suits her, I realize. It’s an intimate glimpse at the real Sloane.
My eyes drift back to her. She’s stunning, even in her prim blouses and pencil skirts. I imagine peeling them away, unleashing the passionate woman I have a feeling is underneath.
I shift in my chair, suddenly feeling too big for it. She clasps her hands tightly, and I wonder if she feels this magnetic pull between us, too. Does it take all her restraint not to give in?
“So, about my reaction earlier...” she begins. Her smooth voice washes over me like honey. All I can think about is closing the distance between us, capturing her lips with mine, learning her curves...
I force the thoughts away. Get a grip, Cooper. I try to focus on our conversation, and on maintaining professionalism. But with her so close, it takes all my willpower not to unravel right here.
To have her, even once, would be worth any consequence. But I know she’s off limits. For now, anyway. Still...a guy can dream.
“Sloane. Stop apologizing. It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I shouldn’t have said--”
“No,” I interrupt, grabbing one of her hands and forcing her to meet my gaze from across her desk. “It’s not. And don’t worry, I totally get it. I’m the reckless rockstar who only cares about himself, blah blah blah, insert cliché here. I understand where you’re coming from.”
“That’s not what--”
“Nope.” I shake my head, shooting down whatever she was about to say again. “I’ve earned some mistrust, some doubt. I fully accept that. But hopefully, I’ve proven over the last three weeks that I am committed to Rhapsody and this program. I might even be doing some good with the kids. Who the hell knows.”
She studies me silently for a minute, her face unreadable as she opens a file. “Well, according to your students, you are doing exactly that. Everybody loves you.” She glances up and meets my gaze for a fraction of a second before shifting her attention to the file.
That temporary connection feels like a bridge of some sort. An opportunity opening up for me where I never thought there would be one. Could Sloane have an interest in me after all? How crazy would that be?
“Everybody?” I ask, a smirk growing beyond my control. I can’t help but be cheeky in awkward moments like this, and my first line of defense is always humor and innuendo. Would she even admit it if she did like me? I doubt it.
A bright pink colors her dark cheeks, and god damn if it isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m about to get lost in the act of simply staring at her when the realization that we’re still holding hands dawns on me. I quickly release hers and sit back in my chair, forcing my features to be neutral. I doubt I pull it off, but she goes on as if I didn’t just say and do that, thank god.
“We poll every student about their mentors, and you got high marks from almost everyone.”
