AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Fuck. That’s not where I expected her to go with this. And, of course, her words go straight to my dick.
“Are you being naughty in the middle of a school day, Ms. Castle?” I ask, inching closer and watching her eyes lift to mine as her head tilts back. I absolutely love this view of her. “What would the students say?”
I say it in jest, but we both look out at the hallway, and the students now stopped and staring at us. I didn’t realize we had an audience.
Shit.
We fly apart from each other, trying to act nonchalant, as though we weren’t just looking like we wanted to jump each other’s bones right here in the doorway to my classroom. There are a few snickers and giggles from students as Sloane slinks back across the hall to her room, and I notice Ethan and Penny staring at us. Actually, no, I think they’re glaring at us.
I’m about to call out to Ethan, but he turns away and heads down the hall with Penny following behind before I get a chance. It’s probably for the best. I’m not sure what I would have said, anyway. Maybe I interpreted their looks wrong. My brain is still on Sloane.
I have to be very careful here. I wasn’t lying when I told Sloane I’m no good for her. She could do so much better than me. She deserves someone that’s not going to end up in the tabloids every other day for fucking something up. She doesn’t need that kind of shit in her life. And that’s what spending any length of time with me would be like. Utter shit.
I need to stop forgetting where I came from. I need to stop being selfish.
As the kids stared at Sloane and me, reality crashed back in. What am I doing, flirting with her in the halls? This can only end badly. For both of us.
Seeing Ethan and Penny glare at us drove the point home. If the students see our chemistry, it's only a matter of time before the press gets wind of it. They'd have a field day with those headlines, which would no doubt hurt Sloane's reputation, not to mention the Foundation's. Which will ultimately hurt all the kids that come here to get lost in music.
Fuck.
I stare at Sloane’s back as she gets to her classroom, and my mind whirls with the consequences of what we’re doing. The devastation following my heart for once could bring on all of us.
I can’t do this to her. To them.
As much as I might fantasize about it working out, deep down, I know I'd only corrupt her light with my darkness. She's been through enough pain already. The last thing she needs is a reckless asshole like me causing her more heartbreak.
What the fuck was I thinking? That I could actually be the kind of stable, dependable guy she deserves? I must have lost my fucking mind.
No, as fun as our flirtation has been, it has to end. I need to stay far away from Sloane, for both our sakes. Quit while we're ahead. Before this combustible chemistry between us erupts into an inferno we can't contain.
I'll hurt her eventually. It's inevitable with my issues and self-sabotaging tendencies. I'd rather break things off now than see the pain and disappointment in her eyes when I fail her down the road. And it is a when, not an if.
Walking away without saying a word, I feel like I'm tearing myself in two. Every fiber of my being strains against this decision, reaching back out for Sloane. Leaving her behind shreds my heart more painfully than I could have imagined. Now that I've had a taste of what we could be, letting it go cuts me to the core.
It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to turn around and change my mind. To pull her into my arms and confess how hard I've fallen, fuck the consequences. But I force myself onward, fists clenched, jaw set. I have to stay strong, as much as it destroys me.
So I walk on, swallowing back the urge to scream at the world. Rage against my reputation. If this is my penance for a careless life, so be it. I'll withstand any agony to protect her.
My entire life’s trajectory has changed so much in the last few minutes, my head is spinning. The ashes of what used to be my heart trail behind me as I go, and I can feel them get taken by the wind. Not a single trace of my feelings for Sloane can remain. Every ember needs to be drowned. I have to let her go.
And she doesn’t even fucking know yet.
twenty
Alkaline
Sloane
On Tuesday morning, Fiona corners me before I can head to my classroom. She tried all day yesterday, but I avoided her like a ninja.
“Hold up, boss lady,” she says, blocking my way out of the main office area. “I need a direct download of what’s going on with you and Cooper.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The feigned innocence on my face and in my voice is so unbelievable we both burst out laughing.
“Come on. Fess up,” she says, hands on her hips. “I hear there was an incident of some kind in the hallway yesterday I totally missed, on top of the press conference from last week? Why am I getting all of this info secondhand? I thought we were friends.”
I can feel the blush spread up my neck and into my cheeks. “What incident yesterday?” I ask. I know exactly what she’s referring to because I thought of little else the entire day, but I’m more curious what was said about it by other people.
