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“Yeah.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I thought she was alright. I really thought she was better, but when I realized she was anything but, I pulled withdrew instead of pushing her away and setting firmer boundaries. This one is on me.”
“It’s on the three of us,” Jason says. “I let Cynthia get to me too. She came here prepared, fellas. She had a plan, and she executed it flawlessly.”
I nod in agreement. “She picked us apart, just like the last time. Except she had Lance as a good distraction. God, had I known that she planned on using him against me the way she did, I would’ve held back on myself, I would’ve controlled my temper better.”
“Selina was on the receiving end of everything,” Jason says. “I failed her. We failed her.”
Matthew sets the glass of whiskey on the table and clears his throat. “None of us expected to feel the way we do about Selina. I honestly figured we could have a nice holiday with a woman we all liked. When feelings began to emerge, I should’ve recalibrated the whole thing.”
“We were being careful,” I tell him. “And for good reason. Look at how it ended with Cynthia. How it’s still ending, for that matter, because the woman clearly isn’t done with us yet.”
“She’s not done with me,” Matthew says, concern etched in the shadows drawn under his eyes. “This is about me, Sully. It was always about me. Cynthia agreed to the three of us but she always had her sights set on me. It’s why she came between us, why she did the things she did, and when she saw us starting over with Selina, I guess she was hoping for a do-over this Christmas.”
“I understand. But my question is what are we going to do, now?” I ask. “We can’t let Selina think we’re done with her, that we’ve given up.”
Jason exhales sharply. “As long as Cynthia is around, Selina will never be safe. Remember what she told Matthew the last time she came here.”
“Fine. Then let’s do something about it. The three of us. What the hell, fellas? We’re Marines. We’re fucking men. How did we let a trust-fund baby like Cynthia get between us like this? Not once, but twice already!” I demand.
It gets the desired result. Matthew gets up and takes a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right, Sully, and I am sorry that I didn’t step up sooner. Assuming it’s not too late yet, I suggest we go straighten things out with Cynthia, once and for all. United we stand, right?”
“United we stand,” I reply, feeling a smile testing the corner of my mouth.
I don’t know how this will work out, but we can’t sit on our hands anymore. We let the ghost of a troubled past ruin a perfectly wonderful present and an extraordinary possible future. We froze, and we allowed our demons to take over. I should’ve been stronger, calmer. I should’ve stayed closer to Selina so Cynthia wouldn’t be able to get to her. I should’ve… it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I miss Selina more than I’ve ever missed anyone in my life. I miss the feel of her skin on mine, the softness of her flesh, the smell of her, the taste of her. The sound of her voice and waking up next to her. I miss it all, and I intend to get it back.
* * *
Matthew,Jason and I make our way over to Cynthia’s cabin. The drive is relatively simple since the snow has settled in a thick layer on the country road. Matthew’s four-by-four truck handles the winter weather well. It has seen infinitely worse than this, and it’s more than capable to handle the slopes and bumps. I love driving this thing, it helps clear my head, so I’ve commandeered the wheel since Matthew has already had a couple of drinks. This whole thing with Cynthia has gotten to all of us, and it’s about time we did something about it.
It's annoyingly quiet out here. Cynthia’s cabin sits between two others, with only a log fence separating the properties. It doesn’t appear as if anyone is around. As soon as we get out of the truck, I notice the shuttered windows and the quiet in the air. It snowed a little last night, and the old boot tracks leading to and from the house are mostly covered. Cynthia must’ve left within the past 24 hours or even earlier.
“Cynthia!” Matthew shouts as he bangs on the front door.
I watch the softening ice crumble and fall off the wooden frame with each pounding of his fist. Jason goes around the cabin, checking the back for signs of life. By the time he returns, the three of us have come to the same conclusion.
“She’s gone,” I say.
“That can’t be right,” Matthew mutters, his brow furrowed. “She was determined to spend the whole winter here, like a thorn in our side.”
“There’s no car, either” Jason points out, nodding back at the narrow road. “And I only see our tracks coming in. The snow must’ve covered hers last night.”
“Yeah, it looks like she’s been gone a while,” I add.
The sound of snow crunching under boots has us turning around to find Mary Swanson as she comes down from the opposite direction, carrying a large bag loaded with maintenance tools and a shovel on her shoulder. She’s remarkably spry for her age. Frankly, I aspire to be just as sturdy and relentless when I retire. Mary is a force of nature, and right now, she’s wearing the smuggest smile I’ve seen in a while.
“Hey, Mary,” I call out. “What’s up?”
“Oh, just going about my usual rounds,” she beams at me, then makes her way past Cynthia’s front gate. “If you’re looking for the psycho bitch, she left last night. I’m just here to clear some stuff out of the cabin and make sure everything has been turned off. Rest assured, I’m doing it because her parents pay me, not because I give a single hoot about this place.”
“Your resentment is duly noted,” Matthew chuckles. “Did Cynthia say anything before she left? Like where she’s going?”
Mary shakes her head. “Nope. I was coming out of Albert’s cabin yesterday evening when I heard her and Lance arguing. He came out first, red-faced and furious. He got in his car and drove off. Cynthia was in the doorway, grinning. She seemed to be in a good mood despite the argument they had.”
“So, she didn’t say anything,” I mumble, hoping for some sort of idea as to where she’s gone.
“Nah, just that she’s headed out soon enough, too,” Mary says. “Which is why I’m here, now. Listen, fellas, I think you’ve had enough trouble with that hussy last year, enough to keep you traumatized for a lifetime. Why are you back here, looking for her again?”
Jason laughs awkwardly. “I keep forgetting how ridiculously observant and aware you are of everything that goes on around here.”
