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The snowflakes have gotten bigger, the angle of their descent sharpening as a freezing wind blows over the mountain. I take a deep breath and welcome the cold air in my lungs, but Matthew doesn’t let me stay outside for another minute. Instead, he gingerly ushers me through the door and has me settled on the sofa while he and the guys bring everything inside.
Once they’re finished, the truck snugly covered with its snow tarp, the windows and doors tightly closed and securely locked, they unpack the groceries and supplies, careful to put everything away before they start getting ready to prepare dinner. I planned on handling that, but I certainly don’t mind kicking back for a couple of hours as I watch my three men roll their sleeves up and do it instead.
Mary was right—I need to rest and I know that the little one safely tucked inside my womb needs it, too.
31
Selina
By the time we take our seats at the dinner table, the platters appeal to our senses with an abundance of rosemary and butter roasted potatoes accompanying the tender turkey breast drizzled with a delicious maple syrup and chili sauce, a lovely selection of freshly baked buns and garlic bread, a fresh salad bowl with out-of-season vegetables, feta cheese and olives, and one hell of a chicken cream soup on the side. Needless to say, it all looks fantastic, and I pray to all the gods that there’s enough room in my stomach for everything.
Matthew makes sure the glasses are never empty. Mine and Jason’s are graced with cranberry juice, while he and Sully work on a bottle of chardonnay. “This pairs beautifully with the turkey,” Sully says as he takes a long sip from his glass.
“I’m going to need a second stomach,” I mutter as I barely manage to finish a small serving of creamy chicken soup. “This is so filling and comforting and everything else smells amazing, especially the turkey.”
“Let me guess, you want to leave room for the turkey,” Jason chuckles, leaning in to drop a kiss on my temple. I smile softly, well aware that there’s also a strawberry cheesecake in need of my attention and currently waiting in the fridge. “And the cheesecake,” he adds.
“Boy, you read my mind like a psychic,” I shoot back.
We laugh and carefully work our way through each course, while my loving men make sure that I get the chance to taste a little bit of everything that they created in the kitchen over the course of several hours. The turkey is as tasty as it looks, and I am determined to recreate the maple syrup and chili sauce for another dish the first chance I get. It’s an absolute game changer.
“This is amazing,” Sully remarks as he leans back in his chair. “Sitting around the table like this. Enjoying this good food.”
“Soul food,” Jason chimes in.
“Like a family, huh?” Matthew replies, smiling broadly as his hand covers mine on the table.
No one has said a word about Cynthia yet. We haven’t discussed the incident and I really don’t want to, truth be told. They already know what happened, and clearly nobody wants to revisit anything having to do with her ever again. Maybe tomorrow, or any other day, we might sit down and recount what happened. Maybe someday we will address the issue and how we’re going to proceed moving forward. There is still the chance that her father could bail her out or get her a reduced prison sentence. Money in America can still move pieces across the board, silently ensuring justice doesn’t get served.
Therefore, we will have to take precautions. We will ensure restraining orders here and in Providence are still in place. Additional security measures will be added around the cabin, not to mention my apartment in Providence. Maybe even a security detail, a bodyguard or two. Sully has plenty of Marine buddies who’d jump at the opportunity for a full-time gig, and I know Matthew would gladly approve and pay for it. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but in the meantime, I wrestle the last of my rosemary and butter potatoes, enjoying the taste and the melty texture currently conquering my taste buds.
“We are a family, aren’t we?” I ask as the four of us exchange warm, soft glances. “A weird one, but a family, nonetheless.”
“Absolutely,” Matthew replies. “And we wouldn’t be a family without you, Selina.”
“How are you feeling?” Sully asks me for the umpteenth time.
I roll my eyes at him, but in a playful manner. “Perfectly fine. Even better, in fact, with so much food currently wrestling for the pole position in my tummy.”
“And the kid?” he insists, his dark gaze constantly scanning me.
On any other day, I might’ve found his persistence somewhat irritating, but not today. It’s endearing and soul-filling to have such concern wrapped around my shoulders like an invincibility cape. To have so much love pouring down on me, glazing me in the warmest and most sincere kind of sunshine. To feel so safe and cherished.
“The kid is starting to think about that cheesecake again,” I reply with a playful grin.
“Just the kid?” Matthew laughs.
Time stands still as I gaze across the table. The food, the drinks, the company. There is no place I’d rather be in this moment, and it fills my heart with joy. Strange, how life throws these curveballs my way, and how they’re so subtly followed by bliss and happiness, as if the trauma barely happened. I think of myself as a tree, ever growing and reaching for the skies.
Sure, someone or something will come along and break some of my branches. The traumatic events leave me with scars, but I grow around them, much like a tree. The knots that form in the wake of such violence only serve to strengthen the trunk. The tree keeps growing, ever taller and stronger. I suppose that’s what life is all about—not allowing the trauma to define you but rather learning to live with it, to grow in spite of it, and to rise far above it.
“I’m just… I’m so grateful to be here with you,” I tell my darlings. I peer into Jason’s blue eyes, a glowing reminder of the summers to come. “You make me smile even when I fear I will never have something to smile about ever again.” I look at Sully, losing myself in the black pools of his eyes. “You make me feel safe, even in the heart of a snowstorm.” When my gaze finds Matthew’s, I feel the strength of a thousand suns burning through me. “And you, my love… you give me power and patience, you make me want to do better, to be better. Thank you, thank all of you.”
“Selina, it’s been a weird couple of months, I know,” Matthew says, inching closer. “But I also know that I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It took some stumbling, some teeth kicked in, some poking and prodding and plenty of misery, yet all that did was peel away at the rough layers of who we truly are. We’re here because of you, baby. We’re together because we belong here. You, me, Jason, Sully. And soon enough, our first child.”
“Had you told me that I’d be doing this a few months ago, I probably would’ve laughed my ass off,” Jason confesses, mildly amused as he squeezes my shoulder. “I would’ve said you’re crazy. Sure, we’d find ourselves another woman to share, eventually, but I never imagined we’d find one we’re equally thrilled about and willing to love. Matthew is right, Selina. We’re here because of you.”
Sully leans in, dropping a kiss on my cheek. “And we’re never leaving you again,” he says. “You’re stuck with us, baby, so you’d better get used to it.”
