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“Let’s have dinner together later, okay?” Mom said, just as I was leaving the room.
“Okay.”
“And Jacob is having the boys over tomorrow,” she said behind me. “I hoped you could be around.”
I stopped in my tracks.
“We’ll all have dinner. Won’t that be… nice?”
I turned to her. She was studying me.
Boys?Did that mean Shane?
No. He avoided family stuff, right?
“You can get to know them a little better,” she prompted. “After all, you’re all family now.”
I knew she was still waiting for the moment when I welcomed my expanding family with open arms and started calling Jacob’s sons my “brothers.”
Never happening.
“Right. Nice.” I tried to force a smile that probably looked weirdly grim, before bolting out of there. Was I gonna have to see Shane tomorrow night, with my mom in the room?
Upstairs, as I pounded coffee while my shower got running hot, Alyssa’s words played in my head.
How are you gonna blow him off when he keeps doing you so good?
I think you’re at risk of getting hurt by him again.
Unfortunately, she was right. Even if I wouldn’t admit it to her.
I was at risk, for sure, if I let myself keep having sex with him.
I stripped down and stepped into the shower. And as I started washing off last night, if I was being honest with myself… I knew I wasn’t just into the sex in the moment, when he was doing those delicious things to me. I woke up excited, thinking about it. Not just the sex, but… him.
I liked the sexwith him.
I liked his body and the way he used it.
I liked the way he touched me. The way he felt. The way he looked and the way he smelled and the way he sounded when he was telling me what to do.
I liked the way he looked at me when we were having sex and the way he made me feel.
It wasn’t completely physical, either.
It was also the overwhelming release I felt, the relief, when I climaxed with him. In those moments, when he made me come, I had all his attention. He was totally focused on me. On my pleasure. And it felt fucking amazing. Like a high.
No one had ever done that for me before, taken such total care of me in bed.
Just like I’d told Dani and Danica, most guys I’d been with didn’t even make me come at all.
I’d just never been with someone who was so good at sex. I’d never enjoyed sex so much before. I’d always found sex a little bit of a letdown. Kind of disappointing, compared to the build up beforehand.
With Shane… it was the opposite of disappointing.
It was better than I could’ve imagined.
It was better than when I masturbated and got myself off. How was that possible?
