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“Some lessons are harder to learn than others,” I said gently.
“Yeah. Amen to that. So anyway… I told you I work in a thrift store. It’s obviously nothing special. They have this really great window display, and every month I get to redesign it. That part is fun. I take a few classes at college each year, kind of whittling away at it. I’ve been doing that for so many years, it’s embarrassing. I guess I just haven’t figured out what I really want to do with my life yet.”
Yeah.Me too.
“But at least my roommates are in the same boat,” she went on. “One of them is in college and the other one is just floating. They’re annoying as hell, probably because our apartment is so damn small and we’re always on top of each other, but they’re good people. I have a few good girlfriends down there. It’s been fun, but I still don’t really know what I’m doing there. The thing about that is I never knew what I was doing here, either. So, why not be lost in California? The weather is better.” Then she mused, “Lost in California. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
She gave me a wry smile, but I couldn’t even return it.
“I’m a cliché, I know.” She sighed. “How many thousands of girls have been lost in California?”
I didn’t answer. Too many things she just said were gnawing at me.
“So, you’re used to your dad shitting on you, is that it?”
She blinked at me.
“Is that the reason you let other guys shit on you, too?”
“What guys? I don’t let guys…”
“Last night. The guy you told me about,” I ground out.
“Oh. Him.”
“It seemed like, for a moment there, things got really cold for you. But you didn’t say so. Not until I asked.” I held her gaze. “I want you to tell me if anything I did was too much for you. If you didn’t like it.”
It had been eating at me ever since. I knew we had to talk about it. I just wanted to make sure I could talk about it without wanting to murder her ex and having that come across.
I wasn’t sure I was succeeding.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said quietly.
“I need you to tell me.” I tried not to get too intense about it, but this shit was weighing on me. “If I harmed you… I don’t think I could forgive myself.”
She didn’t look away, her cheeks turning pink as she said, “I didn’t like how my ex-boyfriend treated me. That’s what I didn’t like. But I liked everything you did last night. Just… No begging.”
“I understand.”
We ate our chicken soup in silence for a moment. She took a sip of her wine.
I was raging hot with jealousy right now, possessiveness, the same feeling that had gripped me, torn me right open and dumped my guts all over the floor, at Bliss. When I saw that guy hovering over her. Touching her. The same feeling that gripped me when she mentioned her ex-boyfriend last night.
I wanted to tell her that I was never gonna let any guy touch her, ever again. But I couldn’t exactly back that up.
“You should never let anyone treat you that way,” I told her.
“Ya think?” she said softly.
I would’ve taken her over my knee right there, but she was still eating. I wanted her well-fed before I locked her down to my bed.
That was no empty threat. It was happening.
Very soon.
“Please tell me you ended it,” I growled instead.
“I did.”
