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“Hello?” Danica waved in my peripheral vision and I blinked up at her. God, it was bright in here. The late afternoon sun was sloping through the window behind her and I squinted. I’d slept in the car on the drive up to Whistler today, because I’d been up so much last night, unable to sleep.
We were supposed to be getting ready for the wedding. Tomorrow was the welcome party for all the out of town guests who were arriving tonight and tomorrow. The next day was the rehearsal dinner. And the next day was the big day.
The last full day I’d spend in Canada until who knew when.
Mom and her sisters and my cousins were already here. Jacob was here, too, with his sons.
Except Shane.
Madeleine had run recon for my sad ass and informed me that he wasn’t here.
Danica sighed, putting down whatever she was holding. I’d already forgotten what we were supposed to be doing right now. Because every time Shane popped into my head, everything else just fell away. “Is that a seashell?” she said.
I blinked at the tiny, perfect thing in my hand. “Yeah. Isn’t it perfect?”
“That’s the one you were telling me about?” She leaned in to look at it in my palm.
“Yes. Please tell me you can make it into a necklace or something.”
“It’s really small, Jolie. I don’t know how I’d make that happen.” She poked it gently. “It looks like it would crumble if I tried to drill through it.”
“It won’t,” I said, almost feverishly. “It’s strong.”
She looked at me like I was Gollum, clutching the One Ring.
“I hate to tell you,” she said, “but it isn’t perfect.”
“It is!”
“It’s cracked right through.”
“That’s what makes it perfect.” I held it up to examine the crack. “The way it holds together, against all odds. It’s… magical.”
Now she was looking at me like she was seriously worried about me. “Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a little… distracted.”
“I’m fine. I just want this in a necklace. It’s important. I want to keep it, okay?” And now she was looking at me like I was getting hysterical. Was I? “It’s just… I got it on the beach in Vancouver and I want to take it back to California with me. You know… for the memories.”
Danica’s face softened with compassion. “I see. Well, I’m sure we can do something…”
“Can’t we like, mount it or encase it in something? So it lasts forever?”
The worried look was back. “Sure. I’m sure we can do that.”
I sighed. “I’m just emotional. I’m sorry. The wedding… and being here and then leaving again… it’s all very emotional.”
“Of course it is.” She sat down on the couch with me. “We’re gonna miss you, too. You have no idea how much. It feels like there’s a big hole in the family when you’re gone.”
I almost started crying right there.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “We try not to tell you that stuff so you don’t feel bad. But we miss you, badly.”
“I know,” I sighed.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked me with concern. “Is it just missing your life here? Or is it more than that? Are things with your dad…?”
“Things with my dad are as bad as usual,” I told her honestly. “Which means they’re basically nonexistent.”
“I’m sorry.”
