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“Are unicorns ever bad?”
“Uh, I wouldn’t think so.”
I gazed at him. “It’s not just a good thing, Shane. It’s a magical thing.” I sighed again. “I’m sorry the way I chose to tell you was weird.”
“It’s okay. I already knew you were weird. This is not a shock.”
I tried to smile. “I guess you like weird.”
“I do.” He gazed at me affectionately. “Anyway, I think I’ve got you beat.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just always felt like the weird one.”
“Why?”
“Well…” He tucked the note away and settled in, leaning on the bar right next to me. “Here’s the thing. I was abandoned as a kid and adopted by a family I never really fit into. I think my family loves me, but most of the time it’s like we’re on two different planets. I will never be what they want me to be. My friends don’t understand me. I take fights in the underground for criminals because it’s fucking fun. I went to a sex club to get my freak on with women I didn’t even know. And I don’t care about any of that anymore if I can’t have you. It means nothing to me. I lost my membership at the club and I don’t care. I could lose my next fight, my title, and I honestly don’t care. You did something so beautiful for your mom and my dad this week, made them so happy helping out with their wedding. You made them proud. I just make trouble. For everyone around me.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, Jolie. It was like, after the car accident, I decided life was short, so I should just live each day on a razor’s edge. Chase those adrenalin highs until I burn out, because who cares? But I was wrong.” His pale eyes held mine, and I saw the emotion in them. “I just needed to find something to really care about again. Something that makes me feel alive, the way I used to feel. And here I am with you, and I found something even better.”
“Better?”
“Yeah. I found you.”
I leaned in closer to him, wishing we were having this conversation in private. But it wasn’t like anyone was paying attention to us. “The unicorn thing… you know it means I love you, right?”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m an asshole.”
“Why would you say that?”
He looked at me. “Because I should’ve told you I loved you already. I should’ve told you first. I felt it. I should’ve just said it.” He touched his hand to my face. “I never wanted you to leave, Jolie. And I definitely never hated you. I know I let you think I did. The only thing I ever hated about this whole situation was that you weren’t mine and you weren’t staying.”
“You’re wrong. No matter where I go… I am yours.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m yours.”
“Then why would you let me leave?” I asked him, slightly exasperated. Confused.
“I told you. I didn’t want to ruin your life. I could’ve easily hunted you down, tried to command you to be with me. But I could never do that to you. You had to choose this if you wanted it. Just like I had to. I’ve been struggling to make peace with myself, and with my past. And struggling with knowing what to fight for and what to let go of. But when I found that note from you… I just knew it was your way of telling me how you feel about me. And I knew I had to fight for this. Maybe… we both had to fight for this.”
“Yes. Please don’t stop fighting for the things that matter. I love that you’re a fighter.”
“Yeah. If only I’d done that the first time we met.” He shook his head. “I thought I was being so smart, going to get you a coffee and leaving you that fucking note with my number. Covering my bases. It felt foolproof. Man, did that bite me in the ass.”
I smiled a little. “I guess your heart was in the right place. It was stupid, though. You really should’ve just said, ‘Hey, I went to get you a coffee, be right back’.”
“You’re calling me stupid?”
“In this instance, yes.”
He slid his hand into my hair and held my face close to his, looking into my eyes. And I could’ve stayed right there, forever.
“Let me ask you something,” he murmured. “Do you like following orders?”
“Yes! I would literally do almost anything you told me to do.”
