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“I don’t know. Somewhere in West Van where the insanely wealthy live.”
“Uh, you mean your mom’s neighborhood?”
“No. Like if Oprah lived here. That kind of wealthy.”
“Oh.”
“I followed Shane here.”
“I see. And why would you do that?”
“You know why. To find out whatever it is he does to afford a Lamborghini, among other things. Did I tell you about the Lamborghini?”
“No. I think I would remember that.”
“Right. Well, I guess I forgot since it was overshadowed by the fact that he was spanking that girl on it.” I was feeling up tree branches as we spoke, searching for a strong one. “You know, the brunette from the wedding shower? By the way, did he actually bring her in the house and was she pretty?”
“Do you want to know?”
“No. Anyway, listen. I just parked outside some estate Shane drove into and I figure I can slip over the fence or something. I’m kinda hidden under some trees right now. Tell me if I should get back in the car and go home and act like a sane person.”
“What? No!”
“No, like don’t do it? Or no, like, don’t go home?”
“No!You’re there, aren’t you? I say jump the fence and see what he’s up to.”
“See? This is why you’re my best friend.”
“I mean, just get a peek. It can’t hurt. Oh. Except…”
“Except what?”
“Well, think about it. Is whatever he’s doing in there going to change your opinion of him?”
“What do you mean?” I grabbed onto a sturdy tree with smooth bark, wondering if I could climb it.
“I mean, say you find him baking empanadas for starving children—”
“Empanadas?” I shoved the phone between my shoulder and my ear and tried to get a foot hold.
“Whatever. I had leftover Mexican for breakfast. Say you find him working his fingers to the bone for some starving children’s charity, are you going to let go of this view you have of him that he’s swamp scum, or are you going to go ahead and fall in love with him?”
This stopped me short. I quit trying to climb the tree. “I never really thought of it that way.”
“Well, you know, since you don’t know what he’s up to, there’s always a chance he’s doing something, you know, innocent. Good, even.”
“Not likely.” I jumped up, trying to peek over, but the fence was too high. All I could see was the massive roof of the house. If you could actually call a building that big a “house.” “It’s far more likely he’s filming high-end porn in there.”
“Is there such a thing as high-end porn?”
“I don’t know. The point is… whatever. I don’t know what the point is. I’m going in.” My eyes had locked on the perfect tree and I beelined for it.
“Wait! What if the place is actually the headquarters of some drug cartel, and the grounds are patrolled by guards with machine guns?”
“Alyssa. We don’t have drug cartels in Canada. And you know I don’t actually think Shane is a drug lord.”
“Sure you do. You say it often enough.”
