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“Hey, we don’t have to do anything. We could always eat cake and talk. Or I could go back home.”
I spun to face him. “No. Don’t leave. Please?”
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere Holly.” His smile was soft, comforting. It belied the fire in his eyes and the intensity that burned in the deep gravel of his voice. “Lately there’s no other place I’d rather be than where you are. Don’t you know that by now?”
“I know it. I feel it too.”
“Good, then get back over here. We have about ten minutes left to be sure.”
“Come upstairs with me? I have an actual living room up there. We could get comfortable.”
He grinned. “I know you do.”
I remembered his earlier mention of a surprise. “Ahhh, of course you know. You probably helped them set it up, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“I’m so lucky to have so many awesome people in my life. My family, friends, now you. Especially you. I was so scared that maybe I was dead inside. But whenever I’m with you Liam, you make me feel hopeful and I don’t want to lose that.” I heard the words I’d just said and cringed internally. “Ohhh, crap, please shut me up. I’m saying too much. Way, way too much. We’re not even dating each other right now. We’re just friends...”
“No, it’s not too much, not at all. I get it.” He reached out, brushing his hand down my cheek in an almost wistful gesture. I wanted to lean into his touch, but he drew his hand away before I could. “I had forgotten who I was before I enlisted. I have flashes of that life, but I can’t feel it anymore. Then I got out and couldn’t seem to figure out how to justbeanymore. Be still. Be present. Just be in a room and relax inside of a moment. But whenever I’m with you, I feel everything. You make me feel like myself again.”
Tears filled my eyes as I thrilled to his words, to the fact that I could do such a thing for him. “I love that.”
His hand slid down my arm to grasp mine, strong, firm, protective. “I do too.”
“I’m not going to mess this up, Liam. I’ll never forgive myself if I do.” I was giving him everything I had and yet keeping a few things to myself at the same time. But somehow it was okay. With him I could be honest about my emotions but keep a guard on my heart. He radiated patience and kindness, and I couldn’t seem to get enough of him.
“I won’t either. I won’t let us.”
“Promise?”
He lifted my hand to kiss the inside of my wrist, eyes locked to mine as his lips lingered against my skin. “I promise you, sunshine. You’ll always be safe with me.” The soft brush of his lips sent me spiraling as the desire to feel more of him overrode everything else.
I let my eyes drift closed, shutting them tight as I tried to hide the overwhelming intensity of my reaction to being this close to him. I squeezed his hand in mine and reached out blindly with the other. As soon as my fingers slid against the solid warmth of his palm I relaxed. Even though he had sent me flying, he also anchored me, and I knew I would be okay.
“I got you,” he whispered, lifting my hands to his lips. And I believed him. He had me, but I had him too. There was no rush, and for the first time in my life I knew I had no reason to be afraid of how I felt. I just needed to be ready for it.
“I’m okay,” I breathed. “This is fine, we’ll be fine.”
“It’s midnight, sunshine.”
I opened my eyes as an anticipatory shudder shot through my body. “So, kiss me.”
Chapter12
Liam
That first kiss we shared on Valentine’s Day had snuck up on me, carrying me away to the point I could barely remember it. It felt so much like a dream, almost like it wasn’t real.
And here we were again, on a random holiday I’d found online, about to do it again. But this time we knew what we were getting into. I hadn’t planned to see her tonight. I couldn’t sleep; that wasn’t a lie. But maybe I should have planned this. If I had, I’d have been better prepared to handle the rush of feelings that were now flooding my system.
She was so fucking pretty with her pink cheeks, upturned lips, and all that gorgeous long blonde hair. I’d spent so many nights fantasizing about wrapping my hands in it again, touching her, feeling her against me, and now it was about to happen again. Finally.
She wasn’t the only one afraid of being dead inside. I had been living in the dark, but she made me feel things I’d never felt before in my life. She lit me up, she made me burn. I was playing with fire tonight and could end up getting hurt, but it didn’t matter. I’d do anything to get another taste of her.
But I had to maintain control of the situation; I couldn’t push too hard. I had the feeling if we went too far tonight it would destroy everything. Any chance I had with her would vanish and to lose her before having a real shot at having her would be terrible. I knew without a doubt I wanted her in my life, and in this moment I could no longer ignore what I’d been too scared to admit to myself.
She was the one.
