AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Listen to you.” He brushed a hand beneath his eyes. “You’re too good for me.”
“I am not. Hello? I just made a two-day mistake crashing with Ash, Liam, and it hurt you. I lied to you and everyone in my life about where I’d been sleeping. Nobody is perfect and being ‘too good’ for someone is not a real thing. Go talk to Luke or Jed, get these feelings out, and when you’re ready, come back to me. I’ll be here waiting for you. I promise.”
“I promise I’ll talk to Luke. But I can’t promise I’ll be back. I won’t hurt you anymore than I already have.”
“That’s the fear talking. You’ll realize it later and you’ll be back. We can still have our Friday, Liam. Please,” I begged.
“Goodbye, Holly.” He walked away.
A cold knot formed in my stomach as I heard him engage the locks and set the alarm.
He would come back, right?
A sob shook my chest as I made my way to the work room he’d just completed for me. It was gorgeous. Brand new dark wood floors and shelves filled the room. He’d hung gauzy green curtains in the windows, while a beautiful apothecary chest sat in the corner and a battered old table sat dead center. He was talented, probably a perfectionist, and he cared enough to make this space everything I dreamed it could be. He’d listened when I described my vision and brought it to life like a dream come true.
I couldn’t lose him.
But I had to give him the same grace I had just received from Asher.
And the space to figure this out on his own.
It felt like both of our traumas had come out to bash us in the face and remind us they were still around to be dealt with.
I pulled out my cell and texted my therapist for an appointment.
I texted Lily.
Then I shot a text to Cade to ask him to come over. I was finally ready for the reality check he had been offering.
Chapter17
Liam
Idrove home beating myself up inside. I knew it wasn’t healthy. I knew this wasn’t my fault, or even hers. It was just the place in my life I was in, and I would move past it. I hadn’t lost hope. I had only lost my belief that I was any sort of ready to be in a relationship with her. When I pictured myself getting married or having a kid, actually being a husband or father, all I could see was me fucking it up with my issues.
I feared my problem had become that I didn’t want to wait to be well, I only wanted to be with her. Since I met her, she was all I could think about. My goal to be healthy again was no longer for myself, it was to be withher. This morning had shaken me up and I didn’t like the thoughts that had run through my mind when she wasn’t there—the judgement, the doubt, the ugliness that had been my immediate assumption when she came home in her pajamas all mussed up from sleeping somewhere else. It wasn’t fair to me or to Holly to pursue a relationship when my head still wasn’t on quite straight.
I pulled around the curve to pass Luke’s house and head to mine, but Lily was sitting on the swing in the outdoor sitting area off to the side of the long driveway. I had to stop, especially after she began waving at me with both hands and I could see that she was shouting. I rolled my window down to hear her calling my name.
“Oh good, you heard me.” She looked relieved. “Holly texted. Park your truck and come sit with me. Jed is with Calla inside making breakfast and Luke is on his way home from dropping Dylan at school.”
This family.
What could I possibly have done to deserve this?
I did what she said and joined her at the swing. “I don’t know why you’d even speak to me right now after how I left her.”
“Oh, shut up. You need a hug. Get over here and sit with me. I’d get up and hug you myself but...” She gestured to her baby bump which was almost as big around as she was tall. She was barely over five feet and carrying twin boys who were due soon.
I sat. “You couldn’t reach to hug me even if you did get up,” I teased.” At six-six, I towered over her.
“That’s fair. I’ll just continue to make demands and boss you around then.” I slid my arm along the back of the porch swing, and she leaned into my side.
“You’re going to be okay,” she whispered.
“I know.” And I did know. I’d come too far tonotbe okay... eventually.
“Good. I know you know, but I had to make sure. I had to hear you say it out loud. And I think you needed to hear yourself say it too.”
