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“No.” He brushed the hair from my face, resting his palm against my cheek. “Being with you makes me feel alive again. I don’t want last night to be our last time together.”
I held his wrist and smiled. “I feel the same way about you.”
“But I won’t hold you back. You have a career you should be proud of. You have goals that lie elsewhere—”
I jerked out of his hold and stood. “This is starting to sound like ten years ago all over again. I don’t understand where you’re going with this. If you don’t want to see me, just say it please. If we’re over again, don’t drag it out.”
“It can be different this time. We’re older now, no longer kids. We’re mature adults, we can handle things now that we couldn’t before.”
“Okay...”
“What I’m saying is, whenever you come home for a visit, I want you to get off that plane and come straight to me. I want you too much to let you out of my life completely, but I won’t be the one to keep you away from what you’ve created for yourself in New York. Do you understand now?”
“But can you live like that? You said you couldn’t before. What about what you want?”
What about what I want. Do I even know what I want?
“All I can think about is you, and I’ll take you however I can get you. Being with you again has made me realize that I never truly let you go. Look at my life—I’m still here, in our house. Sleeping in our old room, alone. I never moved on, not really. I was too busy being yours to fall for another woman. I can’t make myself let you go; I don’t even want to. But I won’t ask you to stay in Sweetbriar and sacrifice your life just to be with me.”
“Oh, Cade.” I was floored.
“It doesn’t have to hurt this time. I don’t want to hurt you. I will never hurt you ever again. Do you trust me?”
“Yes. I would trust you with my life, Cade. Always.”
“Be mine in Sweetbriar, Charlotte. Whenever you get into town, come to me, stay with me.”
“What about when I’m not in Sweetbriar?” I murmured, not sure I liked where he was going with this, but at the same time, unwilling to risk losing him again by saying no, or asking for more than he was willing to give me.
“We won’t discuss that. No questions asked. I don’t want to know.” He raked a hand through his hair in frustration, leaving it on the back of his neck as he looked away. “The thought of it—”
“Okay, I get it. So, we’re together, I’m yours, in Sweetbriar.”What if I wanted to be his everywhere?
“Yeah.” The possessive glint of his eyes in the dark sent shivers down my spine.
“Okay.” I darted my tongue out, wetting my lips in anticipation. “Yes.” Being with him was all what I wanted. Did it really matter how?
“We’ll start right now.” He yanked me into his arms and kissed all the hesitation and doubts out of me. “You’re mine, Charlotte.”
“Maybe you’re mine,” I whispered against his lips.
“I’ll be yours. I’ll be anything for you.”
“I don’t want to lose this—whatever we have.”
“We don’t need anything but us.” He kissed me. “My beautiful Charlotte, whenever we’re together, I swear I’ll make you happy.”
“You already do. Being home with you was something I didn’t even know I needed again. Now I don’t want to live without it.”
“You won’t have to.”
I knew better than to ask him for a promise.
There was nothing guaranteed in this life anyway.
Right then, I decided to live moment to moment instead of letting my ambitions for the future destroy my present. I already knew I couldn’t have everything I wanted. No one could have it all. But I could keep what I already had safe.
Chapter17
