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When I finished, he passed me a tissue. I wiped my mouth and sat with my back against the tub. “He heard us. I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t think of it until now. He was listening while we were together on the stairs at my place. I can’t stand the thought of it—”
“God, Charlotte. I don’t know what to say.” He looked as disturbed as I felt as he sat cross legged on the floor in front of me. “He’s a sick person.”
“I can’t get it out of my mind. He—he violated us, Cade. He intruded on our intimacy, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Help me get it out of my mind.”
“It was a definite violation, there’s no way around that. But he can’t take away how we felt in that moment when we were finally back together. It was beautiful, Charlotte, and it meant everything to me.” His face was adamant. “He has nothing to do with how it feels when we’re together, how right, and magical it is when we make love. He can’t take anything from us unless we allow him to do it. He’s nothing, Charlotte, just a sick little man who’s going to jail for a long time.”
I nodded. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to feel the same way he did. “I’ll try to see it like you do.”
“I know it’s easier said than done. And with all of that being said, the department always recommends therapy for things like this, and I think it’s a good idea that we both go.”
“I agree. I don’t want this coming back to haunt us someday. But mostly, I really don’t want to be alone tonight. Go to sleep with me? Please?”
“Of course. I didn’t want to—”
“Make me uncomfortable, I know. But I want you with me. Unless you don’t feel right about sharing a bed with me after everything—”
“I would love nothing more in the world, Charlotte. It’s what I’ve always wanted. Let’s go.” He stood and reached for my hands to help me up.
Cade waited in bed for me while I washed my face and tried to convince myself I’d be okay.
Once I’d joined him in bed, he covered us in his blankets and wrapped me in his arms. “I’ve got you. You’re safe to fall asleep.”
I shivered in his arms. “Please don’t leave me alone. I know it’s not fair of me to ask after all the confusion with Trent and the secrets I kept from you.”
“None of that matters anymore. I’ll stay right here until you wake up, I swear it. You could ask anything of me, and I’ll do it. Please believe that.”
“Cade—”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Why are you so good to me when—”
“Just let me take care of you. We can talk about—we can talk later, about everything. Tell me anything you want when you’re feeling safe again and I’ll listen to all of it, I promise. Part of this is my fault. You tried to tell me about Trent several times, and I never wanted to hear it.”
“Okay,” I murmured into the darkness. “We can talk in the morning.”
“Okay.” He pulled me close, resting his chin on the top of my head while being careful of my injured cheek.
“I don’t know why I ever left you,” I whispered. “I should have stayed here in Sweetbriar. Look at what happened—”
“No, don’t talk like that.” He placed a gentle fingertip to my lips. “You did what you needed to do. You had to go. There were things you needed that I couldn’t possibly have given you, and that’s okay. I couldn’t see then what I see now and I’m sorry—so, so sorry—that I put you in the position to have to choose.”
Tears filled my eyes, he brushed them away as they fell. “God, Cade. We’ve been divorced for so long, but sometimes it still hurts like it was yesterday.”
“It hurts me too. I was wrong to let you go without trying to understand you better. I was selfish back then. I had this grandiose idea that I should have been enough for you. That if I loved you enough, I could make you happy here, with me. But I know better now. I’ve grown up, Charlotte. And I’m not trying to be condescending so please don’t take it that way, but I am so fucking proud of you. You did the right thing by going to New York. Look at what you’ve become.”
“Look at you. Your dream has almost come true too. You’re going to be the chief, just like you always wanted.”
“The more time I spend with you, the more I thinkyou’remy dream, Charli.”
My heart soared at his words. “I feel the same way about you. Being here with you again is magic, it’s everything.” I paused. “But this is not a second chance, not really. We both know we never had a real shot the first time around because we were just too young. This is us starting over. I think we finally want the same things from our lives.”
“What do you want? Tell me. I need to hear it.”
I pulled him closer with his shirt clutched in my fists. “You. Only you.”
“You have me. You’ve always had me, Charlotte. I tried to convince myself I was over you so many times, but it was a lie. I never got over you and I never will. You are part of my heart, burned into my soul. What I feel for you is forever.”
