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“Andrew.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Andrew. My name is James. May I have your permission to touch you?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you. What did you come here for tonight, Andrew?”
“Um… What do you mean?” James reached up and touched the back of my hand and then my fingertips, then he wrapped his hand around each of mine before speaking again.
“You came here seeking something, Andrew. What did you need or hope to receive?”
“Oh… um… well. I wanted to be hurt. I mean, I thought I did.”
“Does the pain help you get off sexually, or does something else drive you to seek out pain?”
Whoa. I wasn’t expecting such a heavy question. I thought about it for a moment. I thought I knew why, so I took a chance and spoke up.
“It does something else.”
Chapter 4
James
It sounded like Andrew was getting an emotional release from the physical pain he received. A Top he’d play with would need to understand that in order to properly meet his needs, otherwise damage could be done. And Andrew needed to understand this so he could convey this to his Top. Just as Garrett suggested, I had a feeling that Andrew didn’t know what end was up.
“Do you relay that to your Tops?” I asked.
His blank stare was all I needed to feel confident that Andrew was lost in the kink world and feeling his way around in the dark. And unfortunately, he’d indeed found the dark.
“Do you discuss the type of session you’re looking for with the Top?” I clarified.
“I talk to them and tell them I’m looking for pain. Either physical pain or humiliation. I try to find sadists to partner with, or I sign up for parties that are seeking masochists.”
“Why? Why do you seek out the sadists?”
“They’re best suited to handle me since I’m a masochist.”
He had no clue. The internet could be so helpful yet so damaging. Since he sought physical pain to soothe an emotional ache rather than a sexual need, I was nearly positive he wasn’t a masochist. But dissecting that would be for another time.
“Did you consent to the play in the entryway tonight?” I gestured to the cross that Andrew was restrained to. “Did you tell them this was what you were looking for?” I asked.
“I signed the waiver.”
“The waiver to enter the party?”
“Yes. Wasn’t that for pretty much whatever?”
“Andrew, did you really want men to use your mouth?”
“No. I didn’t know they were going to do that.”
“Did you agree to render yourself helpless and be restrained by this group of people for whatever?”
“No. I kept thinking that someone was going to talk to me and go over stuff before play started. Warning bells were going off from what I’d learned so far. But then I was starting to doubt myself. They didn’t ask me for my safe word, and when I asked Stuart about it, he said the waiver was my consent.”
“Andrew, why did you walk willingly with those men to this apparatus?”
“I wanted to play. I wanted to endure pain.”
