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“You think I would have used it to attack him?”
“I think you lash out when you’re angry. Especially if you’ve been drinking. You always have.”
I shifted my attention to the water in my glass and swirled it around. “Why do you put up with me?”
“Well,” she mused, “you’ve always shoved yourself into my life whether I liked it or not.”
That suggested she didn’t like it.
“Sometimes, you’re sweet.”
I grimaced.
“Sometimes, you’re a complete jackass.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Still, I’ve always known you wanted to protect me, even if I didn’t like how you chose to do it.” She raised her glass to me like she was toasting. “I’ve always liked that you cared.”
The revelation cut me off at the knees.
“The island…”
“You were worried and angry and lashing out…then you were sweet and caring. You’re always passionate. It can give a person whiplash, but at the same time, I think I always know where I stand.” She moistened her lips and I wanted to kiss her. My attention fastened on her mouth.
The directness was so much her that I wanted to be equally frank. At the same time… “There is so much I wish I could say.” It was the closest to true honesty that I’d ventured. Closer than I really wanted to go. I shouldn’t…
“But you’re still keeping secrets.”
“Not all secrets are bad,” I said. “Not all secrets are mine to share.” Whether he trusted me or not, I wouldn’t betray Adam’s.
“No?” She pursed her lips. “Secrets are how you and Adam ended up being entangled with Julius King.”
I couldn’t comment on that. “I don’t want to discuss him.”
“You don’t want to discuss anything.” While she didn’t sigh, she did rise and I shot to my feet. “Ezra, I won’t play games with you. I won’t try to jerk you around or tell you what you want to hear.”
“Don’t go…” I held out a hand to her. “I need to talk to you.”
“That’s why I came here,” she said, touching the back of my hand as if to get me to lower it. I battled with the urge to catch her fingers.
I lost.
Wrapping my hand around hers, I circled the table and pulled her to me. She stiffened, but she also didn’t jerk away.
“Kotyonok, I need to know you’re still speaking to me and that I didn’t drive you away…” Desperately did I need to know this. We’d given up so much for her. Done things she would probably hate us for—but I couldn’t find an ounce of regret within me if it kept her safe.
A flush turned her cheeks pink and her eyes went bright. For all her poise and control, the flare of her nostrils and the sudden inhale were tells. She did still react to me.
“I need to know that I can kiss you again, maybe not today or tomorrow. That I can bury my face in your thighs and taste how sweet you are when you come. I never imagined how amazing you would be, and now… I never want to think I can’t have you again.” I wasn’t above begging, though hopefully, I wasn’t there yet. “Even if the sewer rat—fuck—Milo is still in the picture.”
I didn’t want to share with that bastard. I didn’t want him around her. We might work for King, but he was related to him. There was a danger in that.
“He is very much in the picture, and I’m not ready to promise you anything.”
That wasn’t a denial.
“Then—I haven’t driven you away?”
