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“How about we have a round two?” I asked, turning on my side and running my fingers over his chest.
“Was that not good enough for you?” he asked, and the tone of his voice startled me.
“Of course, so good I just wondered...”
“I have work in the morning. It’s been a trying evening, Amber. It’s okay for you, you can lounge around here all day. I mean, maybe it might be time to look for a job?”
“Erm, yes, I... I’m sorry. Of course, you’re right, you’ve got a busy day ahead. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea while you dress.”
I slid from the bed, not because I was desperate to make him a cup of tea, but so he wouldn’t see my tears. He confused me.
He wanted me, then he didn’t.
He complimented me, then he didn’t.
I was standing in a robe stirring the tea when he came up behind me. “You make me so mad because I want you all the time. I love you, Amber, and it’s like a fire inside me.”
He nuzzled into my neck. It was the first time he’d said he loved me.
I didn’t answer him. “Don’t you love me?” he asked.
I turned in his arms.
“Of course I do. You’re so passionate. I just want more of that.”
“And you’ll get more. Now, I have to go. I’ll call you in the morning.”
I didn’t get a peck to my nose that evening, he just left with me holding the cup of tea that I’d made him.
I sat for a couple of hours thinking about the evening. Eventually, I’d convinced myself that Andrew was right. I shouldn’t have laughed at the comment, and I vowed to do better. Andrew was obviously insecure over his previous relationship, and I had to make sure that I didn’t give him any cause for concern. I would never cheat on him, or anyone, and I would make him believe that. I headed to bed.
It was with a better frame of mind that I took his morning call.
“Hi, I was thinking. Perhaps I could cook for you this evening?” Andrew said when I answered his call.
“That would be lovely. At your house?”
“Or yours, whichever is easier.”
I hadn’t been to his house, although he had talked about it. It was a small mews house that he rented with a friend. I guessed a romantic candlelit dinner might not be that romantic if his friend was around.
“Come to mine, at least we’ll have the place to ourselves,” I offered. “Would you like me to do a shop?”
“No, I’ll bring what I want with me. I’ll see you later.”
I busied myself for the rest of the afternoon cleaning the flat. I knew I should be job hunting, but I also wanted to talk to Andrew about travelling. I couldn’t see myself heading off alone and wondered if he’d take a holiday with me at least.
The urge to fulfil my dream of travel was still strong, but it was battling with my need to have Andrew in my life.
CHAPTERSEVEN
Life bowled alongand we settled into a routine. There were still the three calls per day, and I’d postponed my travels in favour of getting a job. I hadn’t known what I wanted to do with my degree, so settled in a local small building company as a secretary. It was only a temporary thing until I chose a career. Andrew insisted on accompanying me to the interview, he wanted to vet those who I was going to be employed by.
As he said,you never know what creeps are out in the work place nowadays.
I enjoyed the job; I didn’t enjoy the attention I was getting from some of the men. There were the usual sexist comments, the ‘make me a cup of tea, love’ crap that I’d expect from the workplace dominated by men, and I quickly learned not to tell Andrew any of it. Just one small comment about having a conversation with a colleague sent him in a temper, to the point he threw his plate of dinner across the room.
Of course, he apologised profusely afterwards, cleaned the place up, kept kissing me, then insisted on making love. I didn’t view it as making love. Our intimacy was more about him getting all the pleasure and me being left unfulfilled.
