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I shiver.
I haven’t read all the books Finnen and Taj seem to have studied about the Fae and their biology and culture, but all this seems to be instinctive. Like I know it in the marrow of my bones, like it makes sense in some mysterious, unknowable way.
Sidde Drakai.
“If I allow another kiss,” Finnen grumbles, “you’d better have enough coin to buy us a good dinner with beer and a clean room with enough beds for all of us.”
“Woo. You drive a hard bargain.” Taj is grinning and sauntering down the trail through the fields like he’s on his way to a picnic. “The bet is on.”
I catch Kiaran frowning back at them and oh gods, he has to have doubts, hearing all that banter. A man who’s been alone for—how long? Most of his life, it seems, and yet he’s coming with us. Giving it a try.
Meanwhile, Finnen and Taj are acting like young acolytes fighting over a piece of bread at dinner, and yet it’s all about attraction, as I realize more and more. Attraction and the dynamics of this unconventional relationship, both men vying for the top and testing the limits of their fascination, their pull toward each other, the limits of their distinct personalities. They like each other and have been looking after each other. But they still aren’t sure about their exact place in this clan.
Does Kiaran see that? He said it himself, he’s not an idiot—but when it comes to human relationships he might as well be. Relationships, boundaries, nuances.
He’s as innocent of them as I am of sexual pleasure.
And let’s not even touch the topic of Finnen and his general flat-out refusal to consider said pleasure. Or Taj’s divided loyalties, no matter his reassurances.
Yes, one can have doubts. I harbor some, so why shouldn’t Kiaran? But I want to convince him to stay with us, if nothing else because, now he’s with us, I can’t imagine not having him around.
The cold breeze blows his scent over to me and I blink back tears. I want him. I want them. Taj said it won’t satisfy me the way I think it will—having sex with them now—but it’s wearing me down. Who knows how long it will take to find my other mates, to complete the circle? The way I feel right now, my heat can’t be far away.
And if I go into heat without my full clan… What happens then?
Fear grips me, and I want to ask Taj or Finnen, but I don’t dare. I’m not sure I want to know the answer. Many human women die in childbirth, but I remember reading that many Fae omegas died in heat because they didn’t have a full harem.
But how? How did they die? Goddess…
By now we are all stumbling with exhaustion, so when Taj calls out, “There’s the town!” a weight lifts off me.
It’s a fortified one, sitting on a low rise in the land, a grey construction resembling the rocky hills where Kiaran lived and where we took shelter with the army.
And on top of the walls fly the banners of the Temple.
“There’s a branch of the Temple here,” I say, in case everyone else missed it. Finnen for sure hasn’t seen the banners, so there’s that. “We should leave.”
“And go where?” Taj says. “It’s getting dark.”
“Like every night,” Finnen mutters. “Your point being?”
Kiaran has stopped, his hand on the horse’s bridle, his blue eyes unreadable as he gazes at the town ahead.
“Stop being a smartass, Finn,” Taj says, “and consider our options. We need food. Unless we want to hunt and eat raw meat, or grass from the plain, which I have done and don’t necessarily recommend, this is where we need to be. We need provisions, we need a good night’s sleep, and we need information, otherwise we’ll be blundering direction south and courting death.”
“Courting death is an everyday expectancy.”
Taj sighs. “May the Gods help me not to kill this man.”
“Maybe you need to pray to other gods. Army gods like killing. Not that you’d ever stand a chance of killing me.” Finnen frowns. “I should probably train you…”
“Finn!”
Finnen bows his head, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Yes?”
“Give it a rest, you two.” I sigh. “What do you think, Finn? Should we enter this town? How probable is it they’ll recognize us? Well, you in particular. Have you ever passed through here?”
“I wish I could say it doesn’t look familiar,” Finnen says drily, “but alas, I can’t see it.”
