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A ball of emotion swelled in my throat as I pressed my hand to my heart. My sisters took their coffees silently across the room while Ionee sat on the bed. Mum began talking. Stuck in the past, she told story after story about me growing up until the tears ran freely down my face.
Eventually, she placed her hand on Ionee’s. “He’s got such a huge heart. If I had one wish for him, it would be that he put himself first. He took on so much, so young. If only I could go back and change it. Tell him that he didn’t have to protect us or look after the girls. Do you think he knows how sorry I am that I got it so wrong?”
My legs gave way as I slid down the wall to the floor.
“I’m sure he knows,” Ionee reassured her. “And if he doesn’t, I’ll make sure he knows now. How does that sound?”
“Thank you,” Mum whispered, her eyes closing, exhausted from so much conversation.
When her breathing had settled into the steady rhythm of sleep, Ionee slipped from the bed, grabbing a muffin from the bag she’d brought. Bending down, she handed it to me. “Eat, Archer.”
“I can’t.”
“You don’t like my selection?” She smiled, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.
“No… it’s just… I mean, that was a lot.”
“Eat, Arch. That’s not a request.”
Sophia giggled, and I rolled my eyes.
“Fine, I’ll eat.”
Ionee leaned forward and whispered so only I could hear. “Good boy.”
I swallowed hard, as emotion unexpectedly flooded my body, her words gliding over my skin like silk, somehow soothing my pain.
“And the same goes for you two as well. Eat.”
“I love how bossy you are, Nee,” Soph declared with another giggle and for a moment, I forgot how fucked up this whole situation was.
Ionee
Istayedwiththemat the hospital all day, bringing snacks, replenishing drinks, offering hugs, but mainly watching Archer. I watched as his body tensed when the doctors came in. I watched as he tried to take care of his sisters. I watched as he paced the room, looking like he was unhappy in his own skin.
I tried to stay away from him, but his tension drew me in. I wanted to help him relax, to release his stress. I wanted to see him smile. When visiting hours ended and we all left, his sisters invited me to share a cab with them, but I politely declined, telling them that Archer and I had plans. Laura raised her eyebrows when Archer wasn’t looking and I slapped her on her arm, shaking my head, trying to get her not to torment him.
Once we were alone again, I slipped my hand into his. “Are you okay?”
“Exhausted,” he admitted. “I should probably get home.”
I tightened my grip. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?”
“Don’t go home… you’ll wallow. Today was a lot. Come home with me.”
“Nee, I can’t. I need…”
“What do you need?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered, staring down at the floor.
“Come home with me. Let me order takeout. You can take a shower. I’ll even let you choose the movie.”
“I can’t give you more than that.”
“And I’m not expecting it. Cuddle me, get a boner, sit on the other side of the room, and eat all the carbs. Whatever you need, let me give it to you.”
