Page 120 of Share Me


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He sat down next to me on the daybed. “They took out a school as a convoy of US soldiers were driving through the town. Twenty-two kids, four adults who worked at the school, and another fourteen who were in the blast zone were all killed, so many more had life changing injuries. I was in that convoy, so I was first on scene.”

His face paled and sweat collected on his brow. Suddenly, Daw was there, rubbing small circles on his lower back.

When he didn’t start talking again, Lea spoke. “Is that why you quit your job?”

He let out a noise that I thought was meant to be a laugh, but it was so full of pain, it sounded unhinged.

“You’ve not heard the half of it, Sugar. After the bombing, I tried to call home. Neither of them answered. They didn’t reply to emails… I heard nothing from them for the rest of my tour. When I landed back in the US, they weren’t there to collect me from the airport and when I tried to draw out some cash to get a cab, my card wouldn’t work so a friend had to lend me the money to get home.”

Marshall seemed to notice our hands on him and shuffled uncomfortably, but neither of us moved and Lea pressed her hand to his thigh so he became the center of us.

“When I got home, my house was empty. They took the lot. Sofas, beds, dressers, wardrobes, TVs, pots, pans, dishes. The only thing they’d left me were my clothes, piled up on the floor of the room we used to share. While I was away in a war zone, dealing with the worst experience of my life, the men I thought loved me were draining my bank account and emptying my house. I never heard from them again.”

“Marshall,” Lea whispered.

“I went back to work at a hospital straight away because, well, I needed money to eat. I worked double shifts, I took as much overtime as I could get. I was tired, sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, heartbroken, suffering from panic attacks and flashbacks. I think I had PTSD after the bombing and I should never have been back there. They had me on shift with my original partner from when I joined the service.”

He lifted his eyes to Lea. “The man in my photo. Alex.”

Lea nodded that she understood.

“Alex and I were the best of friends. We were working a Saturday night, and it had been hard. Lots of fights, drunks, ODs. We’d picked up a drunk with a head wound. We were both in the back of the ambulance when the man pulled a knife. I didn’t notice what was happening until it was too late. He stabbed Alex in the chest and his lung collapsed.”

“Like me?” Lea whispered and Marshall looked at her, pain cloaking his beautiful face.

He stared down at her. “Like you. Only I used a needle with him… we had everything I needed on the back of the ambulance, but I was tired, rushing. I just wanted him to be okay. The drunk ran as I tried to save Alex. There was so much blood, he couldn’t breathe.” Marshall sucked in a breath. “I put the needle in at the wrong angle and caught a blood vessel… his chest filled with blood and I couldn’t do anything to help. He died in my arms.” He paused. “I killed him.”

Silence settled across the room as a tear rolled down Marshall’s face. I had no idea what to say or how to make it better for him, but Lea did. She moved slowly, pulling her legs under herself and lifting to her knees, trying not to show the effort it took on her face.

“I am so sorry for what you went through and what they put you through.”

“I don’t deserve to be here. I lied to you. I did things deliberately so Fox and Dawson would touch me.”

She stroked her fingers along his jaw. “We know. We’ve known since we started doing this.”

“But you didn’t call me out on it?” He looked confused.

“No, we knew you’d tell us when you were ready. Now, you’re ready… now you can start being real with us. Letting us in properly. Can you do that?”

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “I’m scared. Scared that I’ll always be the outsider.”

She dropped her hand from his face, placing her hand on his knee.

“I was coming back to tell you all something,” Lea murmured. “I’ve been in love with Fox. We all knew that, but in the car I realized that it was more than that. Her eyes flicked between each of us. I’m in love with you all. I love you.”

“You don’t need to say that, Sugar,” Marshall croaked, his free hand fisting the sheets at his side.

“I would never say that if I didn’t mean it. I like having you all around. The minute I left, I regretted it. Iwascoming back. To you all.”

“But my past—”

Daw shifted slightly, taking Marshall’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, twisting his head to his. “You don’t have to pretend with us anymore, Marshall. Trust us.”

Marshall nodded, and Dawson slammed his lips against his, like a feast after a famine. Dominance rippled off them both, making me shudder as Marshall groaned into Daw’s mouth.

“God, that’s hot,” Lea whispered, breaking them from the moment, but then a look of panic flashed over her face. “Are you into women at all?”

Marshall smiled, skimming his fingers along her arm. “Yes, Sugar. I just swore I wouldn’t get involved with men again and then I found myself on your bus, watching y’all and… well, I thought I could get a taste without having to admit I was bi.”

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