Page 26 of Kind of a Sexy Jerk


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“Wire fraud?” Mel echoes, yipping as I take a sharp left and she clings to the back of our seats. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Matty. You can go to jail for that! For a long time.”

“I know,” I say, hating to disappoint her.

But this really is the last time. As soon as I’m out of the CIA, undercover missions and spending time with criminals will be a thing of the past. Still, I know I have to give her some reason for all this. Mel knows me better than anyone else on earth and she knows I wouldn’t sign up for trouble unless I was between a rock and a hard place.

“It was stupid to get sucked into Cassie Ann’s business,” I continue, “but after I wrecked Ken’s car on the track last spring, I couldn’t think of another way to pay off the debt without losing my house.” Mel sucks in a breath, but I cut her off. “I couldn’t have asked you or anyone else in the family for a loan. It was a lot of money, Mel, more than any of us have on hand, and you were in the middle of a divorce. So, I tried to fix the problem myself and ended up getting in too deep. But I’m on my way out now, I promise. I just have to convince Cassie Ann’s muscle that I didn’t betray them, take care of a few final items of business, and I’ll be out of their orbit for good.”

Nora makes an uncertain sound beneath her breath. “We might have made that a teensy bit harder for you.”

I catch her worried gaze for a second before shifting my focus back to the road, taking the turn that will eventually lead us onto the highway heading north. “What do you mean?”

“We might have been talking about how we think you’re a spy,” Nora says.

Officer, I silently correct for the zillionth time.

“And the bad guys might have overheard us,” Mel adds.

“They for sure heard us say that we think you’re a liar,” Nora says. “And they seemed pretty ready to believe that you double-crossed them.”

“The phrase ‘dirty rat’ was used,” Mel supplies. “Just like in an old movie.”

I clench my jaw.Fuck. “Okay. Fine,” I say, though it’s not fine. Not at all. But I don’t intend to give up on a clean exit until I’ve exhausted every option. “I can still change their minds. They know how it is with sisters and girlfriends. They want to believe the best about the men they love.”

“Oh my God,” Mel says, delight lifting her tone. “Are you two dating? I love that!”

“No, the Sweetwaters just think we’re dating,” I hurry to add.

“Matty thinks he’s bad for me,” Nora supplies, oversharing in a way that I’m coming to realize is very Nora. And a way I’m pretty sure I’d find charming if she weren’t talking about me. “He thinks he’ll break my heart if we date before he leaves town,” she adds, “but I’m trying to change his mind.”

“Good, you should,” Mel says, punching my arm.

“Ow,” I mutter, wincing. My sister is about half my size and has some of the smallest hands I’ve ever seen on a grown woman, but she always could land a punch.

“I know he’s being a huge idiot right now,” Mel continues, “but under normal circumstances, Matty’s the best. That perfect mixture of dependable, protective brother and spontaneous adventure buddy, who knows all the best places to explore.” She rubs my arm, soothing the spot she punched. “And he isn’t bad to look at, either. Though I’m the cute twin. Everyone says so.”

“You’re adorable,” Nora agrees, making my nose wrinkle.

“Don’t encourage her,” I say, guiding the SUV onto the highway.

“Where are we going?” Mel asks. “This isn’t the way to my house or the police station.”

“I think you should get out of town for a while,” I say, hurrying to add, “Just for a couple days, until I’ve sorted this out with the Sweetwaters. I’ll pay for the trip, and you’ll be back before Chase and Ben are home from Ben’s parents’ house on Monday.”

“Absolutely not,” Mel says. “I have shit to do for work, not to mention tons of food to donate to the food pantry.”

“I’ll coordinate the drop-off to the food pantry,” I say. “And you said the wedding you were catering this weekend was cancelled. That leaves you free until Monday.”

“No. Huh-uh.” She shakes her head stubbornly. “I’m not running away. This is my town. And Cassie Ann Sweetwater is a big old softie. She always donates cupcakes to local charity events. We run into each other all the time when I’m grilling for the Girl Scouts or dropping off casseroles for Bingo Night at the Senior Center. She’s not a bad lady. If her goons threaten me, I’ll go over their head, get Cassie Ann to call them off, and have this sorted in no time.”

“Cassie Ann is in Canada,” I say. “She won’t be home until Monday. In the meantime, it looks like Wimpy’s called in Rex, the absolute worst the Sweetwaters have to offer, to get control of the situation here. Until I’m no longer a part of that situation, I would feel much better if you were somewhere else. I’ll pay for the flight. You can head to a beach somewhere for three days and get rested up before the holiday catering madness starts up again.”

“It’s probably a good idea,” Nora says. “Better safe than sorry, and you totally deserve a break. I travel alone a lot. It’s really not so bad.”

“She won’t be alone,” I say, spotting the exit to the airport up ahead and shifting into the right lane. “You’re going with her. I’ll drop you both off at the main terminal. Take a look at the flights leaving in the next few hours and figure out what you want me to book. I’ll park and be in to pay for the tickets.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that,” Nora says, stroking the cat’s head. “I have to keep an eye on Clyde. You’ll need someone to watch him while you go talk to the bad guys. If they see you’ve got the missing cat, you’re dead meat. I managed to snatch him without them noticing at Mel’s, but it was close. Too close. You clearly need backup.”

“Yeah,” Mel says. “And I hate sunshine. It’s the worst. I have enough freckles as it is. I should be in town in case you need extra backup. I’m not up for anything outside the law because I can’t parent Chase from prison, but I could lightly poison a few people, if need be. Make it look like an accident. Those guys won’t be able to chase you or shoot stun guns if they’re busy having really fast poop.”

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