Page 60 of Kind of a Sexy Jerk


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“I’m not sure I can,” Bear says. “I don’t have my password memorized and in order to get it reset, I’ll have to send a code to my cell phone.”

“Fuck it, I’m going left,” Wimpy says, continuing to prove that patience and impulse control are not in his wheelhouse. “Left feels right. The warehouses are smaller over there, and why would he need a big warehouse for a bunch of toys?”

“Yeah, I think it’s left, too,” Bear says. “But I don’t know where. I usually turn by the taco truck and the entrance is behind that and to the right a little bit. But I doubt the taco truck is out today.”

“He could just use his phone for a minute or two,” I say as Wimpy creeps along the road at fifteen miles per hour through the torrential downpour. “That wouldn’t be long enough for anyone to track it and you could—”

My words end in a squeal as the van dips sharply down in the front. I grip the door handle with one hand and brace my other against the back of Rex’s seat. The rear of van bobs into the air for a second before sliding forward, driving the front of the van even deeper into one hell of a ditch.

I can see it now through the front windshield, a gully filled with brown grass, rushing water, and a faded red soda can, trapped in a nest of leaves.

As Wimpy cusses a blue streak and Rex demands to know where the fuck he learned to drive and how they’re going to finish the job now, I glance over at Bear, who nods quickly. I reach for the door, pulling up the old-fashioned nob lock before ripping it open and spilling out into the rain.

Rex lets out a surprised shout, but I hold the door for Bear, who jumps out into the soggy grass beside me a beat later, kitten box still in hand.

“This way, come on,” he says, moving past me and running hard toward the line of warehouse buildings on the other side of the street. “I know a place where we can call for help.”

I dash after him, grateful I put on my tennis shoes instead of my new purple pumps. I’m not an athlete by any means, but I make decent time in proper footwear.

But will I be fast enough to get inside before Wimpy or Rex grab me and drag me back to the van?

I risk a quick glance over my shoulder to see Wimpy knee-deep in water outside the drivers’ side. I can’t see Rex from this angle, so I’m guessing he isn’t out of the vehicle yet.

We’ve got a solid head start!

Buoyed by this victory, I push harder, doing my best to keep pace with Bear. But even carrying a box full of cats that he’s doing his best not to jostle, he’s way faster than I am. His legs are at least six inches longer and he’s clearly in amazing shape. When I finally catch up with him under a small awning in front of a door marked “Bays 11-16,” he’s barely breathing hard at all.

I, however, am panting so much I can’t hear what he says to me at first.

“What?” I gasp, my hand pressed to my chest, where my heart hammers my ribs.

“The code is 5-4-4-6-7-8,” he says. “Just in case you need it.” The lock buzzes and he leans into the door, holding it open as he jerks his head toward the long, shadowed hallway. “All the way down at the end, there’s a little office. We’ll break in if we have to and call from there.”

I glance over my shoulder one last time, my already racing heart pounding triple time as I see Wimpy and Rex racing after us through the rain. I dash through the door and Bear follows, using his foot to push it firmly closed behind him. “The lights turn on automatically,” he says, leading the way down the hall. “They’re on motion sensors.”

“Okay,” I say, swiping the water from my face as I follow him. Overhead, the lights hum on with a creepy flicker that makes me feel like I’m in a horror movie. I keep one eye out over our shoulder, so I’m not surprised when Rex and Wimpy slam into the door, but I jump and yip anyway.

“They won’t be able to get in,” Bear assures me. “That door is solid and that’s not the kind of lock that’s easily forced open.”

“Right,” I say, starting to shiver as the adrenaline rush fades. “My nerves are just a little shot. I thought being part of a spy operation would be fun and exciting, but I’m ready to go back to my normal life now. I would pay a thousand dollars to be bored at home, wishing Aaron would stop watching sports and Gram would stop jabbing me in the stomach with her giant knitting needles. She’s had to start using giant ones because her arthritis is so bad.”

Bear glances over my head, glaring at the door as Rex and Wimpy slam fists into the glass and shout things I can’t make out over the sound of the rain loud on the metal roof. “We’ll both be home soon. We’ve got this.” He glances down at me, adding with a smile, “Though I doubt you’ll be bored. You’ll be too busy getting ready for the kittens to move in in a couple of months.”

I brighten, smiling despite the increasingly intense shivers making my teeth chatter. “Oh, yay! Thank you. I’m in love with the orange and gray ones. I want to name them Sunshine and Rainn.”

“Perfect,” he says. “And I’ll keep the three mini Clydes, and name them something fun that comes in threes. But this time, I’ll make sure I know if they’re boys or girls before I start handing out names. I wasn’t so good at sexing a cat when I adopted Clyde.”

I laugh, stopping beside him as we arrive at the small office at the end of the hall. “I wondered about that. But I’m glad she’s still Clyde. Claudia the belching kitten wouldn’t be the same.”

“Agreed,” Bear says, peering through the glass door into the office before turning back to me. “Can you hold Clyde and the kiddos while I see if I can get in?”

“Sure.” I accept the box, fighting my shivers as best I can. I don’t want to give the babies shaken kitten syndrome, but I’msocold. If there’s heat in this building, they don’t have it cranked up very high, and I’m soaked to the skin.

Bear punches at the keypad for a while before he mutters, “My code doesn’t work. And this door is about as thick as the one keeping those idiots locked out in the rain.”

I peer back down the hall, where the lights have now flickered off again. But there’s still enough illumination to see that Wimpy and Rex aren’t there anymore. “They’re gone,” I whisper.

Bear looks up before turning back to the door. “It’s okay. They can’t get in anywhere else, either. Unless someone lets them in, but I didn’t see any other cars outside. And we’re warned when we sign the rental contract not to let anyone in other than ourselves and our guests. Each code is tracked. If a thief gets in on our code, and they find out about it by looking at the security feed later, we’ll be held liable for it.”

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