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“I think I felt it.Maybe one more, just to be sure.”
She laughs, a low throaty sound that sends a thrill through me.“Fiend.”
“For you, always.”
“Always,” she repeats breathlessly, gradually lowering her lips back to mine.
Her kiss is slow, her mouth moving unhurriedly against mine.I bring my hand to her cheek, relishing in the feel of her skin.
“I’m alive,” I murmur once she pulls away.
She squeezes her eyes shut.“You’re alive.”
Something in the way she says it makes me think it’s just as much an affirmation for her as it is for me, a reminder that she didn’t lose me, even after everything we endured.
Now that the fog from whatever drugs I’m on has cleared, everything comes rushing back.From learning Jameson had been killed, to Silas pointing his weapon at Esme and a shot going off, making me fear the worst, only to learn my father had managed to drag himself to our aid.
“My dad,” I say frantically, eyes searching her for any clue as to what happened to him.We’d finally turned a corner.Finally reconciled after years of never getting along.I can’t stomach the idea that he didn’t make it.“Is he—”
“He’s fine.”Esme rests a soothing hand on my arm.“In fact, I should probably go tell him you’re awake.”She stands from her chair.“I’m sure he’ll—”
I grab her wrist, stopping her from leaving.“Not yet.I…” I trail off, trying to collect my thoughts.
When I thought I was dying, there were so many things I wanted to tell her.But I knew I didn’t have much time, so instead, I stuck with what I thought was most important.And that was telling her I loved her, despite my actions.
But this is my second chance.
I’m not going to fuck this one up.
I need to tell her everything I wanted to days ago.
“I should have kissed you at the party,” I declare, my voice unwavering.
She returns to her chair, and I can see my reflection in her glassy green eyes.
How many tears has she cried for me since I almost died?
How long has she been sitting in this room, waiting for me to wake up?
How can I possibly earn her forgiveness?
I’m not sure I deserve it.Not sure I deserveher.
But I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to her that I do.
“I shouldn’t have put you in that position,” she interjects through the audible lump in her throat.“I knew how important retiring with honor was to you.I—”
“But I never should have done anything to make you doubt me.Make you doubt my love.I never should have put my career first.It’s what my father did and made me resent him.What I swore I’d never do.I’m sorry it took almost dying for me to finally wake up and realize I was making the same mistake.That I was being a daft fool.”
Nodding, she licks her lips, seeming to process what I can only describe as a lackluster apology.But it’s all I have.
“You know what they say, don’t you?”
“What’s that?”I ask, hope brimming in my eyes.
She flashes a smile I feel deep in my soul.“Admitting you’re a daft fool is the first step to recovery.”
I laugh, a sharp pain throbbing in my side.I reach for it out of instinct, finding a bandage covering my lower left abdomen.
