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ChapterNine
Creed
Something’s wrong.I can feel it in my bones.On the outside, nothing looks amiss.It’s just another night at the opera, the who’s who of Belmont society here to watch the opening performance ofL’Orfeo.
But I can’t shake the feeling in my gut that something’s off.
When I notice Esme seize up, unable to move, Iknowsomething’s off.
Anderson glances my way, his fear-filled eyes begging for help.I hurry toward them and wrap my arm around Esme’s waist, quickly escorting her out of the box before any of the other patrons notice what’s going on.
It only takes me a matter of seconds to get her into the private reception room just outside the royal box.But it may as well have been hours with the panic gripping me as I watch her struggle to breathe, her lungs wheezing, muscles taut.
“What’s going on?”Anderson asks as I help her onto a divan, his voice laced with alarm.
“What’s wrong with her?”his father presses, the two of them inches away from her, which isn’t helping matters.
The last thing anyone needs when suffering through any sort of panic attack is to have people hovering over them.Not when the anxiety makes you feel like the walls are closing in on you.
I face them, my expression calm.“I need you to give her some space.”Sensing movement, I look past them as my father, Archie, and a few other guards file into the room along with Jameson Gates.I lower my voice.“She’s having a panic attack.”
“Panic attack?”Esme’s father repeats.“Why?”
“There doesn’t have to be a reason,” I tell him.“Now, if you two can give her some space, I’d like to help her through it.”
“Of course,” Anderson replies quickly, taking several steps back, pulling his father along with him.
I kneel in front of Esme, her breathing still labored, hand clutching her chest.“I’m going to lay you on your back.Okay?”
She nods.It’s probably all she can do right now.
“Okay.”I splay my hand on her lower back as I carefully lay her down, folding her hands over her stomach.“I just want you to focus on my voice and nothing else.We’re going to breathe together.Inhale through the nose for five seconds, then out through your mouth for five.Think you can do that?”
She nods again, her eyes locking with mine.
“Good.”I squeeze her hand.
I can feel my father’s displeasure from across the room, seemingly incensed that I’d be brazen enough touch her.But this isn’t an affectionate touch.I need her to feel grounded.To come back from whatever caused her to seize up like this.
“Now close your eyes and inhale through your nose.”
She follows my instructions, and I watch her chest rise as I count to five.
“And exhale.”
She parts her lips, a combination of surprise and relief covering her expression as the breath leaves her.
Truthfully, I’m relieved, too.
For a minute, I wasn’t sure she’d ever breathe again.Wasn’t sure I would.I’ve been in her shoes before.I know how it feels when you think your surroundings are getting closer and closer, about to crush you to pieces.
“Good.You’re doing great.”
I squeeze her hand again, absentmindedly caressing her knuckles with my thumb.It’s second nature whenever I hold her hand.I know I shouldn’t, that it might only draw attention our way, and not the good kind.But Esme needs comfort right now.
“Let’s do it again.Inhale through the nose for five.”
Her chest rises with her breath again, and I walk her through a few more breathing exercises, not stopping until she’s able to breathe comfortably on her own, her pulse no longer racing.
