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Neither one of us says a single word as he strips me of my clothes.As I rid him of his.As he lays me on my bed and crawls between my legs.
Creed and I have had sex more times than I can count, especially during our brief escape in the Hamptons.But as he slides into me tonight, it feels…different.So much more intense.More poignant.More meaningful.
I’ve always felt Creed’s love whenever we’ve been intimate.Even during those wanton, carnal moments when he’s demanding I take his cock like a good girl or when he’s yanking on my hair as he pounds into me from behind.Regardless of whether he’s rough or sweet, I always feel nothing but pure adoration radiating from every touch.Every kiss.Every whisper.
But tonight, it’s…more.
More of everything I’ve come to crave from him.
Our fingers intertwined, his hips rock in perfect harmony with mine, his eyes glued to mine.I can’t look away even if I want to.But I don’t.I want to stay in this moment with Creed.A moment that’s both heartbreaking and fulfilling at the same time.
There are no harsh grunts.No lust-filled declarations of how amazing he feels inside me.Because there are no words in existence to properly convey the depths of what we feel for each other.
Instead, we share our feelings with our bodies.With our souls.
With our hearts.
Once we’ve come down from our orgasms, Creed collapses on top of me, the only sound in the room that of our heavy breathing.He doesn’t say anything.Doesn’t explain the desperation that seems to drip from every inch of him.Doesn’t share why he holds me in a way that makes me fear it’s the last time he ever will.
And I don’t ask.
I just bask in his love, unable to shake the uneasiness inside me that everything’s about to change.
And not for the better.
ChapterTwenty-Six
Creed
The world isquiet as I drive away from Esme’s apartment the following morning.The first hints of light are beginning to illuminate the horizon in shades of pink and gold, announcing the arrival of a new day.
I don’t know what came over me last night.Why I snuck into Esme’s apartment, knowing full well what could happen if I was caught.
After everything my father said to me, the way his disappointment stung, I needed to see her.Needed to lose myself in her.Needed to feel something other than the crushing weight of despair I was left with after my father stormed off.
And for a while, feeling Esme wrapped in my arms helped ease my mind.
But in the quiet of the night as I listened to her gentle breaths beside me, my father’s words found their way back to my subconscious, repeating like a broken record player, torturing me with the truth I’d been content to ignore for too long.
I can’t ignore it any longer.
As much as I hate to admit it, his concernsarelegitimate.
If I were to openly date Esme, it would make headlines.Reporters would hound my parents, Rory, and AJ.My father would most likely be forced out of the guard early.I wouldn’t want someone on my team who could be a liability.And that’s precisely what my father would become.A liability.A target himself.
Worse, it would destroy any chance AJ might have at a normal childhood.He’s already been through enough.Can I really put him through even more trauma?
I’m not sure I can.
But I’m not sure I’m ready to give up on Esme yet, either.Onus.
No matter what choice I make, I stand to lose something.It’s just a question of what’s more important.
What I can stomach living without.
The streetlights cast a yellow-orange glow over the trees and hedges that line the peaceful streets of the subdivision where I’ve lived for the past decade.Slowing my speed, I turn my car into the driveway and kill the ignition, peering through the windshield at the Queen Anne-style dwelling.I should feel a hint of sadness over the idea that I’ll soon no longer call this place home.
I don’t think it everwasa home, though.I don’t regret being here for Rory and AJ.But I never felt like I belonged here.Instead, it felt like a waypoint.Like I’ve been waiting for a connecting flight that’s been permanently delayed.
