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“Then what happened?”
I shake my head, staring into the distance as I attempt to formulate my thoughts.Pinpoint one thing that happened to make me question everything.
But there hasn’t been.Just a feeling in my gut.
“I don’t know.I came back home.Creed went back to Manhattan to be with Anders before they flew back here.Then there was the leak about Anderson’s engagement.But he came over to my apartment that night.”
“Who?”Harriet furrows her brow.“Anders?”
“Creed.He snuck in.And he was… I don’t even know how to explain it.He begged me to tell him I loved him.Like he physically needed my assurances to breathe.”
“And did you?”Marius asks softly.
“Of course.Because I do love him.Since then, things have been…different.Before that week in the Hamptons, we’d get together in the morning to work out.”
“Is that what kids are calling it these days?”Marius smirks.
“That’s not what I’m talking about, Mari.We really did meet in the palace fitness center and he gave me self-defense lessons.They’ve helped me feel less anxious.More in control.”
Marius’ playful expression sobers, and he gives me an understanding smile.“I get it.”
“But you can’t fault him for not showing up,” Harriet states.“He’s got a lot on his plate right now.”
“I get that he’s busy.I get things are complicated.And I’m trying not to be the clingy girlfriend, or whatever I’m supposed to be.But even on the rare occasion we do see each other, he sticks to protocol.”
“Do you blame him?”Harriet remarks.“You agreed to keep your distance, not cross those lines like you did all those years ago.”
“I understand that.And I completely support him wanting to make as few waves as possible, especially considering he got his ass handed to him after Anderson’s engagement was leaked.”
“Your brother blamed Creed for that?”Marius asks, aghast.
“No,” I interject quickly.“Not Anders.”
Realization washes over both their faces.
“His father,” Harriet breathes.
I give a small smile, neither confirming nor denying.I don’t have to.They know how his father can be.
“And I don’t blame him for keeping the lines between us firmly drawn until he retires.I just…” I expel a long breath, trying to find the words I need.“He’s not the same as he was in the Hamptons.Or before.”
“It’s natural for things to feel different, especially after you had a glimpse of what it’s like to be together,” Marius assures me.“You were free to be yourselves without a single care about who might learn the truth because there was no one aroundtolearn the truth.You had to know things couldn’t stay that way once you left.Not while Creed’s still in the guard.”
“It’s more than just that, though.I can’t explain it, but I can’t shake this strange premonition that something’s wrong.That it’s more than just redrawing the battle lines, so to speak.”I pull my lips between my teeth.“Maybe after seeing all the shite Nora’s had to put up with, he changed his mind.Because if he were to be with me long term, that’s exactly what he’ll have to put up with.”I swallow hard through the lump building in my throat, a few tears escaping at the thought of Creed walking away.“Maybe he’s finally realized I’m not worth it.”
“Oh, Ezzy…” Harriet slides off her stool and steps around the island, wrapping me in her arms.“You know how much Creed loves you.He’s wanted you since you were teenagers.”She pulls back, but keeps her hands on my biceps.“Plus, you can’t compare Creed to Nora.Creed grew up in this life.Hell, he’s been your brother’s chief protection officer for the past six years now.He knows what the two of you have to deal with better than anyone.And yet, he’s willing to turn his back on the only career he’s ever known to be with you.Willing to turn his back on his legacy.That’s got to count for something.Don’t you think?”
“I know.”With a long sigh, I push out of her hold, wiping my cheeks with my arm as I return my attention to the sauce.“Which is why I’m so confused.One second, I feel like I’m losing him.The next, I remind myself of all the hoops he’s willing to jump through for me.Everything he’s giving up.”
“Listen, Ezzy,” Marius begins, sliding off his barstool and approaching me, clutching my biceps.“You can talk to us about this until you’re blue in the face.But we can’t give you the answer you need.Only one person can.If you’re uncertain about your future, bring up your concerns with Creed.In the highly unlikely event heishaving second thoughts after witnessing the circus around Nora, you deserve to hear it from him.I may not be the best person to give relationship advice, considering I’ve avoided all serious relationships as much as possible, but you need to talk to each other.Not let your mind wonder with what he could be feeling or thinking.Go straight to the source.Okay?”
I push out a long breath and nod.“Okay.”
“And like Mari said,” Harriet adds, playfully nudging me.“It’s highly unlikely he’s having second thoughts.He’d be a complete fool if he was.”
“But if he is, he’ll have me to deal with.”Marius puffs out his chest.“He may be able to snap my neck with his bare hands, but I got your back.”He winks.“We both do.”
“Damn straight we do.”Harriet lifts her glass, and I grab mine off the counter, all of us clinking them together.
