AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He’s right. I shouldn’t have let anything happen between us outside the first day, which neither of us had much say in.
At some point in the miles we have driven, you could have mentioned you were engaged to marry someone. I assume you’re in love and have agreed to save yourselves until the happy day.
But the guilt is on me. Decker had no right to know my relationship status. We aren’t dating. This isn’t normal life. I’ve been kidnapped, held by the cartel, and now trying to get home.
What I tell Todd when I return is another story. I’ve always been aware his manipulation of my sexual activity—or lack thereof, is unreasonable. I’m not stupid.
Yet he has me over the coals.
He knows protecting my family’s honor is important to me. If he calls off the wedding—which he’s threatened to do if I have sex—my entire family will be shamed.
I could never let my dad down like that.
I love him too much to hurt him. The shame it would cast on my family - it would KILL ME to see my father's face. I refuse to let this stupid Todd clause destroy my family or relationship with my father.
I won’t let him win, and if that means remaining a virgin then so be it.
Except as my eyes drift outside to Decker's strong back, arms outstretched as he leans on the railing the pull to go to him is overwhelming. There are many men I’ve thought about sleeping with over the years. One or two, I nearly did after too many drinks.
But I never did.
I want Decker to fuck me until I scream. I want him to own and destroy me completely. I want his mouth on every inch of my body and to bruise me. To mark me.
I want to remember him until the day I die.
It will never happen, though. The choice is no longer mine.
Ana is wrong about him. Decker has honor. He’d never sleep with another man’s fiancé. So he won’t touch me again, and that upsets me way more than I care to admit.
––––––––
WHEN I WAKE to thesounds of clattering in the kitchen, I blink my eyes open and feel a brick wall behind me. It takes me a second to realize Decker has his arm wrapped around me and I’m tucked hard up against his chest.
His soft breath is tickling my neck.
I smile, then hate myself for it. This must be how women who are in love feel.
Happy. Giddy. Desired.
I will never have that.
My eyes fill with tears, and I try to blink them away, but one spills and races down my face, landing on his arm.
I sniff, feeling silly.
“What’s wrong?” Decker growls huskily, lifting his head.
“A cold. I’m fine.” He moves, and I fall flat on my back and stare at his stupidly sexy, sleepy face.
Goddamn him.
Why do men look so pretty in the morning?
“I’m sorry for walking out. You were right. It's none of my business,” he says, then rubs his hair so it’s all mussed.
Great, now he’s a trillion times hotter.
I close my eyes and let out a groan.
