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Everything snapped at his command. My scream of pleasure filled the area briefly before being cut short from the intense pleasure of my orgasm which made my mind go blank. I didn’t know when I came back to reality, but I found myself within Nikolai’s comforting embrace when I did. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you, just let it go,lisischka. Let it out.” I was confused as to why he was soothing me. I was fine. It was just an intense orgasm.
Then the sounds of sobbing hit my ears. I wondered where the sound came from for a second before realizing it came from me. I sobbed uncontrollably and clung onto Nikolai for dear life. Everything I had bottled up behind the dam now rushed out.
Being remorseful and afraid of losing everything took its toll on me finally. I had been so afraid of losing Nikolai just now with my secret. I don’t know why I reacted so badly to it because we hadn’t even known each other for half a month. Maybe it was because I was so fucked up I clung onto the first man who treated me decently and look at me with want. Hell, if that’s what I wanted then a dog would have been a better companion. I don’t know what was wrong with me anymore. All I knew was I was a dumpster fire of a mess.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was muffled by his shirt and chest as I kept my face buried into him.
“I know you are, and I forgive you. I already forgave you before punishing you.” His chest rumbled with his deep words when he spoke. “You’re not hiding anything else from me are you? Like a secret husband or kids? An evil twin? A dump site for all your victims?” He joked with a soft chuckle as he pulled me away from him, holding my face with his hands and wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
Unable to control it, I smiled back at him and laughed softly. “No, none of that. There’s stuff about my past, but I’m just not ready to bring that back up yet. But nothing as important as that whole thing with my mistaken identity on the papers.” Nothing I had left should have a big impact. “Sorry for getting your shirt wet and snotty.”
He didn’t seem too bothered by the fact I just sobbed all over him. Then again, he chose to hold me. I figured if he was bothered by it then he wouldn’t have pulled me against him like that. “Comes with the territory. Doesn’t matter, I have a lot of shirts. What are you even doing anyways?” He asked with a nod towards my laptop.
“Oh, just surveillance photos of the warehouse we’re going to tackle tomorrow night.” I spoke as if it was a typical Friday night activity and not something dangerous.
“By tackle you mean?” He pressed for more clarification.
“It’s just something me, Greg, Bao, and Hanna do to chip away at my stepmother’s profits. We occasionally raid her warehouses and send the information we find there to the authorities, after we have our fun.” Nothing like fucking with my stepmother to make my day. Too bad I won’t be around this time to see her distress like always.
“And when were you going to tell me about your late-night Batman activities?” And there’s the tone of ‘you’re in trouble young lady’ I anticipated.
“Hey, you have your business meetings, I have my business meetings.” I had triad business and he had bratva business, so I saw no difference between our activities. “You’re not going to stop me, and if you try, I will make you regret it. I know, it’s dangerous, I shouldn’t be doing this, blah blah blah. But, I mean, I can say the same about the shit you do, so don’t give me that bullshit if you’re planning to.” There are some things he won’t compromise on, and there are things I won’t. My activities regarding my personal vendetta against my stepmother was a huge one I would never let him control along with my career.
“At least take Benjamin or Tim with you, preferably both, but at least one of them.” He gave in reluctantly with a sigh of defeat.
“Seriously? That easy? Huh, I expected more from you.” Not like I wanted to complain, but I had the whole argument planned out in my mind.
“Well, arguing with you about it will get us both nowhere. The only way I’d be able to prevent you from doing anything is chaining you to the bed and locking the room, which we both know won’t end well because you’d probably stab me in my sleep as payback. Besides, it’s not like you’re some pampered princess. Will I worry about you? Of course, I always will no matter where you are or what you are doing. But I’m not going to attempt to put a stop to your life. That wouldn’t be fair for me to continue running the Bratva and making you stop running your end of the Triad or whatever it is that you are doing. Just promise me that you’ll come back home, alive.” Nikolai didn’t seem happy with the fact, but at least he wanted to work with what we got.
Our marriage wasn’t normal from the very start, and I never expect it to become something out of a magazine. We were mafia, we weren’t going to come home from our 9 to 5 job to nice home cooked meals and sleep soundly in our beds without a single worry. And I was fine with it because normal is overrated.
I’m thankful Nikolai wasn’t an ass and tried to control my life and force me into some housewife role or treated me like some possession to be locked away at the estate. The only control he ever asserted over me took place in the bedroom, which I welcomed and craved. Other than that, my career and major life choices were fully mine to make.
“Thank you.” Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. “I promise I’ll be as careful as I can. I always am, but I promise. And I promise I will do my best to come back home to you alive and kicking.” I wasn’t going to come back home unharmed, but I’d be alive at the very least.
“And I’ll take Benjamin with me.” Guess he’ll just be the getaway driver because my crew and I had our system down to a tee. Tossing a new person in this close to a raid would be disastrous.
