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It was one thing to survive a bullet or brush off getting shot at, but what happened to her was so personal it wasn’t something that could be shrugged off. I’d probably be traumatized if I went through exactly what she did, and there wasn’t much I would consider traumatizing to given my fucked up life.
Once we got home, I carefully carried my slumbering wife up to our room and settled her in bed before stripping her. After her shoes were off, I quickly worked her dress off, but before I could get to her bra, I found myself being pulled down onto the bed with a giggle. Then, a pair of lips were on mine, and the taste of alcohol flooded my senses. Deft hands started to feel up my body, working my shirt out of my pants as her touch trailed upwards to the collar of my shirt. “Lis—”
A finger to my lips stopped my words, “Shh, let me have a bite of you love. I want you so badly right now.” From the glazed over look in her lust filled eyes and the dopey look on her smiling face, it was clear she was still under the influence.
The fact she wasn’t sober was enough kept my urges at bay. The thought of doing something we might regret in the morning was enough to keep the blood from rushing down to my cock as Angel kissed at my neck while her fingers worked at the buttons of my shirt. “No,lisichka, you’re not in your right mind. I am not going to sleep with you when you’re like this.” Also, I couldn’t trust her or myself while she was in this state. I could easily hurt her in the height of our pleasures and she wouldn’t know any better to stop it.
“I’m perfectly fine, I know what I want, and my thoughts are clear. I’m completely fine now, promise.” The fact some of her words still slurred slightly was another clear indication she was not back to baseline.
“Please, I’m so horny right now, I need your cock in me so badly.” She pouted, grabbing at the waistband of my pants and tugging.
“Don’t you want me too?” Her other hand grabbed mine and brought it up to her breast, pressing my open hand against it and using her own to make me cup her.
Jerking my hand away, I could feel a pang of hurt cross my chest at the sight of rejection on her face. “Angel, baby, not like this. You’re not sober. I am not going to touch you while you’re in an altered state.” I told her softly, hoping it would get through to her.
Desperation. Hurt. Her blown pupils constricted as her lust faded. “Do you not want me anymore? Are you disgusted with me after seeing the file? After hearing about how much of a whore I was to let myself be used by a man like him? You don’t want me anymore because I’m just broken and used trash, huh?”
“Darling, no, never. I don’t care about what’s in that file, nothing in it changes how I see you or my feelings for you.” It was the truth. If anything, I only felt more for this strong woman who I am more than proud to call my wife.
“Then why don’t you want me right now? I’m not even that drunk, I’m barely tipsy or buzzed.” Sure, she might be in a better state than when I picked her up, but she wasn’t in the clear.
Sighing softly, I pulled her down against me in a tight hug, stroking her hair soothingly. “You’re still under the influence. I am not going to do something that both of us might regret in the morning. I don’t want to take advantage of you in this state, even if you do want it, your inhibitions are loose.” Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, I pulled her off and got off the bed. “Stay, I’m going to get a cloth to clean your face.”
“I can do it myself.” No she couldn’t. She nearly fell out of the bed when she tried to get out of it. I had to catch her and force her back in it.
After making sure she would stay put, I left to the adjoining bathroom and got a few warm washcloths, saturating one of them with her makeup remover, before returning to the bed and cleaning her face while she protested. I did let her try, but she ended up smearing everything and making a bigger mess. “You don’t have to do this.” She pouted defeatedly as she let me wipe her face in peace.
“I know. I want to. You’re my wife, so I am always going to take care of you whether you like it or not.” That much I could promise her. Even if she were to change her mind and nullify this marriage in the end, I would still watch over her at the end of the day. If she wasn’t set for life already then I would have ensured that as well, even if she didn’t want it.
“Do you ever regret agreeing that night?” The sad look in her eyes made me want to grab her face and kiss her until she was happy.
“No, never.” I replied without an ounce of hesitation. “As we’ve said before, this marriage is unconventional, but I will never regret my decision that night, ever. If anything I’m thankful for it because it forced my hand into doing what I was hesitant about. I wanted to seek you out after that first night I laid eyes on you, but I didn’t. What little conscience I had left in my mind made me leave you be. You were just an innocent little nurse, you didn’t deserve to be involved in the ugly bratva life that I lead. If I had things my way and were twisted enough then I would have snatched you off the streets and kept you locked up in my bedroom until the end of time.”
“Is it crazy to say I wouldn’t have opposed to that.” She giggled with a grin.
“You are definitely not sober if you’re saying that.” I chuckled softly as I finished cleaning her face.
There was no way in hell she would ever let me do that to her without fighting me tooth and nail. She was too independent and strong in her own right, so there would be no way she would ever let herself be degraded like that. And that’s what I loved about her. She knew her worth and wasn’t afraid to express it—when she wasn’t in a self-doubting state. She didn’t need anyone but herself, which was a good thing and a bad thing, but I found that part of her admirable.
“Well, what if I was tired of everything and wanted someone to take care of me, hm?” She challenged me with a smirk as she crawled up to me. “Maybe I want a big brute to take me.” The tip of her finger trailed down my chest as she kept her playfully dazed eyes locked onto mine.
“Not like this.” I shot her down again, my hand grabbing at hers to put it back at her side. “Trust me, I am doing this for both our sakes.” I told her with a soft sigh, placing a kiss on her forehead and getting off the bed to toss the used washcloths in the hamper. Going over to the dresser, I pulled out a gray tee shirt before going back to Angel.
After taking her bra off, I bunched the shirt in my hands before telling her, “Arms up.” With a pout, she did as I told, letting me slip the shirt onto her body easily. “Lisichka, don’t look at me like that.” The sad pout of rejection remained on her face as she sat there on her knees. Sighing heavily, I pulled the covers back, pulled her under, and settled the both of us in for the night.
“Good night,lisichka.”
