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“Uh…yes and no.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ve been prescribed them, but I needed more…” I trailed off, swiping my trembling hand across my face.
Picking up the cup, I sipped my water. The cup shook in my grip. “It was only supposed to be temporary.” I swallowed hard, forcing the rest of the words out. “I never meant for it to get so out of hand. I don’t…I know I have a problem.”
“Mr. Lewin. Or would you prefer me to call you Theo?” At my nod, he continued. “Theo. Let me ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly. Yes or no. Do you want to rely on pills to help you sleep?”
Of course I didn’twantto. “N—no.”
“Okay. One more question with a yes or no answer. Would you like me to help you to stop relying on them?”
“Yes.”
He gave me a warm smile. “Then I will help you.”
* * *
Three days later, my nausea finally subsided. I hadn’t had much sleep, and Dr. Ross had informed me that I would probably experience something known as “rebound insomnia” for a week or so, which was like a double dose of insomnia each night. According to him, the usual way he’d get someone to detox from sleeping pills was to gradually decrease the dosage, but because I’d gone cold turkey, my symptoms were more intense.
On the plus side, because I’d only been taking the pills for around nine months, my symptoms shouldn’t be as severe or last for as long as someone who had been taking them for years. My peak physical fitness was another factor that would allow me to recover quickly, and so I’d finally been allowed to move out of the medical wing and into my prearranged accommodation. I had to have a daily medical check, and if any of my symptoms worsened, I could be readmitted or receive medical treatment, but other than that, I could proceed as normal.
Dr. Ross was confident that I’d recover quickly. He told me that the main symptoms I’d be likely to experience for the next week or two were the insomnia, anxiety and mood swings, possible nightmares, and a craving for the pills. It was possible that I’d experience other things like confusion, muscle pain, and headaches, but because of the aforementioned reasons and the type of sleeping pills I’d been taking, it was unlikely.
The cravings were the worst. They were constant and something Dr. Ross would be working on with me through therapy. I knew I’d be able to handle them here because I had no other choice, but I didn’t know what would happen when I got back home. I only hoped I’d be strong enough to resist. After three days of in-depth conversations with Dr. Ross, I’d come to realise that I had an addiction. I’d never thought of it in those terms before—I’d always told myself that it was okay to take the pills because so many players relied on them to help them sleep before games, and I thought I could stop at any time. But I’d become too reliant on them, to the point where I couldn’t function without taking them. Accidentally leaving them behind and going through withdrawal had been the wake-up call I needed.
One day at a time.
That was all I had to do. Take it one day at a time, beginning with today.
I opened the door to my villa and stepped inside.
14
JORDAN
“What the fuck!”
My head shot up at the angry exclamation from a very familiar voice. A wide grin spread across my face, and my heart rate kicked into overdrive. Shaking the water from my hair, I ascended the steps of the infinity pool. By the time I reached the wooden deck, Theo had burst through the doorway, his face twisted in rage and his blue eyes flashing with fire.
When he caught sight of me, he came to a sudden stop, his gaze drifting down my dripping body before returning to my face. His mouth opened, but I spoke first.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
He slammed his mouth closed, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at me. I rolled my eyes.
“You look like shit. What’s going on, Lewin? Where have you been hiding?”
“I haven’t been hiding,” he bit out. “I’ve been in the medical wing.”
Shit. “Are you…uh…okay?” The words tripped awkwardly off my tongue. I wasn’t used to this, not with him.
“I’m fine. Why are we sharing a fucking bedroom?”
He clearly wasn’t fine. His skin had a grey pallor, and there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. But whatever. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and that was fine by me.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Believe me, I’m as unhappy about it as you are.”
His gaze trailed down my body again, and for some reason, my dick decided to wake up. I knew it was muscle memory or whatever from the way women eyed me with blatant interest—not that Theo was looking at me with interest, more like jealousy over the way I looked—and I realised that I hadn’t actually fucked anyone for over a week or even had a wank since the day before yesterday. What the fuck was that all about?
I’d rectify that tonight. In the meantime, I needed a shower. Grabbing my towel from the sun lounger, I wrapped it around my waist and then sidled around Theo, making my way into the bathroom and closing the door firmly behind me.
