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How was I going to explain any of this?
Breathing in and out deeply, I attempted to regain my composure. “I’m sorry I disturbed your sleep. I’ll go and sleep in the lounge so you can get some rest.”
“Fuck that,” he snapped. “I don’t give a shit that you woke me up. Are you okay?”
To my horror, my eyes filled with fresh tears, and I shook my head. Jordan stared at me for a moment, open-mouthed, and then he did the last thing I’d expected from him.
He took a seat on the edge of my bed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Uh, is this okay? I don’t really know what I’m doing.” He huffed out a laugh. “I know that if I have a nightmare, I want to be comforted, so I guess, I mean, it’s probably the same for you, right? I know I’m probably the last person you want to be here. No, not probably, definitely. But yeah, I’m the only one here, so, yeah…uh…”
“Thanks,” I rasped out, leaning into him and letting him take my weight. He fell backwards against the headboard with a cry of surprise.
With another soft laugh, he straightened up, still keeping his arm firmly around me. “You were heavier than I was expecting. Must be all that muscle mass. Have you been overdoing it at the gym? Trying to get abs like mine?”
When I glanced at his face, he was smirking at me, and just like that, the lump in my throat dissolved, and I could breathe again.
“I seem to remember you complimenting my obliques earlier. In fact, I believe you admitted that they were more defined than yours.”
“Nah, you must be mistaken. That doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Anyway, we’re talking about how amazing my abs are, not your obliques. Look at them! They’re a work of art.” He stroked his free hand down his stomach, grinning widely.
“Always trying to make it about yourself.” I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
“Theo?”
“Yeah?”
“Seriously, though. Is there, uh, anything you need? Want me to get you some water? Or put the light on? Or—or…uh, anything else?”
I sighed. “No. I probably won’t sleep again tonight, but there’s nothing that’ll help.”
“Oh.” His face fell. “Okay. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” The word came out much more harshly than I’d intended, and he recoiled, pulling his arm away from me.
“Okay. I’ll leave you to it.” Diving for his own bed, he yanked the covers up over his body.
Rubbing my hand across my gritty eyes, I groaned. “Sorry. I’m not used to talking about it with anyone. I…I went through a period as a child where I had nightmares most nights. My parents…they…they weren’t pleased. I began keeping myself awake at night so I wouldn’t disturb them, and I don’t know…my sleep patterns ended up being fucked up. I’ve had trouble sleeping for years. I don’t have nightmares very often these days, though, but Dr. Ross did mention that might be one of the side effects of my withdrawal.”
Jordan had stayed completely silent while I spoke my confession into the night, but as soon as I finished, words burst from him as he flipped onto his side to face me, rage darkening his eyes.
“That is complete fucking bollocks! What the fuck were your parents on? Bloody hell, Theo, you were a kid, and that was something that was happening when you were asleep. It was completely out of your control. What the actual fucking fuck?”
His outrage on my behalf soothed me like a balm, smoothing over some of the cracks in my heart.
“It’s in the past now. Other than the withdrawal symptoms, I suppose. I can’t promise that I won’t wake you again with more nightmares, but I can sleep in the lounge.”
“Fuck off. I don’t care about that. I can nap in the day if I get too tired.” He studied me intently. “The more important question is, how can we make sure that you get some nightmare-free sleep?”
Something inside me melted. “I don’t think there’s a way.”
“Nope. That can’t be true. There has to be a way.” He had that stubborn look on his face, his eyes narrowed in determination and his lips curved into a pretty pout—a pretty annoying pout, I meant. That look always made my blood boil, except this time, it was on my behalf.
“Believe me, I’ve tried everything. The only guaranteed way is to stay awake.”
Suddenly, his pout disappeared, and in its place was a sly smile. “What about what we did last night? That worked, didn’t it?”
Yes. “That was a mere coincidence.”
“A mere coincidence,” he repeated mockingly. “Or it could be that you’re scared to do it again and prove me right.”
