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After my session with Dr. Weaver, I was feeling too raw to face Theo, even in a group setting. We’d signed up for a tai chi session, but I needed some time alone. Instead of going to the session, I headed to the gym for a workout before I took a long shower, followed by a very late lunch. I didn’t want to go back to the villa in case I ran into Theo, so I decided to sneak around the side of the main building. Maybe there was a part of it I hadn’t discovered yet. Something new that would take my mind off my problems and allow me to escape my reality.
“This area is out of bounds.”
I spun around at the haughty tone, a grin tugging at my lips as I took in Lawrence, the Black Diamond employee who had taken care of me when I first arrived on this island. “Sorry, Law. Can I call you that?”
His mouth wrinkled in distaste, and he immediately shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
“Sorry. Look, I need to take my mind off things, and so I thought I’d go exploring.”
He sighed. “What ‘things’ might you be referring to?”
Slumping back against the wall, I shrugged. “Things that happened here recently that I shouldn’t have done with a certain person.”
The only change in Lawrence’s expression was his eyebrows lifting almost imperceptibly. “Hmm. You know, there’s a saying among some of the staff here. What happens on the island stays on the island.”
“Is that really a saying?”
Instead of answering me, he began walking. With a lack of anything else to do, I followed him until he came to a halt in front of a shed-like structure, all rickety wooden boards creaking in the wind.
“Help yourself.” Pulling open the door, he gestured towards the interior. “And remember. What happens on the island stays on the island.”
He melted away into the shadows, and I was left alone.
When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw that the shed was filled with miscellaneous beach and sports equipment. Lilos, pool noodles, beach balls, tennis racquets, a volleyball…
But one thing immediately grabbed my attention.
A perfectly inflated football lying in the corner of the shed.
I jogged over to it, and as soon as I scooped it up, a smile spread across my face.
I’d missed football so fucking much. With all the drama surrounding the circumstances that had landed me on this island, I hadn’t even realised just how much I’d missed it until now. But I did. Fuck. It was a part of me. A part of my soul. And now I was holding this leather ball in my hands, all I wanted was to be back at Barnwood Park, the Glevum FC stadium, playing with my team and helping to bring us to victory.
The homesickness was sudden and so intense I sank to the floor, cradling the ball in my arms, my breath catching in my throat.
I needed to get back. As beautiful as this island was, it wasn’t home.
“I miss you,” I whispered out loud. Fucking hell, people would probably give anything to be here. But I missed England, with its unpredictable weather—too hot, too cold, too rainy, or too dry—whatever it was, people loved to complain. I missed Marmite on toast, tea and crumpets while my dad swore at the football commentary on the radio, the people in my neighbourhood who got very fucking particular about how and when to queue… But most of all, I missed football. It was my life, and I was good at it, and I wanted to be a team player, to help my team do the best they ever had in the league.
And if that meant working with Theo, I knew right then that I was prepared to do whatever it took. I’d do anything.
With that thought in mind, I climbed to my feet, still holding the ball, and headed for the beach.
21
THEO
Jordan had been missing all day.
I shouldn’t have noticed or cared, but there was a niggle of worry inside me that wouldn’t go away. I hadn’t actively looked for him, but I’d been up to the villa twice, as well as making a circuit of the main building, and I hadn’t caught a glimpse of him anywhere. I doubted he would’ve gone off hiking in the jungle on his own, not after our experience of getting lost on the trails, and so I decided to walk down to the beach.
I didn’twantto find him… I just… No. I couldn’t even explain it to myself. We’d both put distance between us after that night…the night I couldn’t stop thinking about. Now everything inside me was so twisted—even more so than before, and with the cravings for the pills constantly at the back of my mind, as well as the nightmares and anxiety, my brain felt as if it was going to explode.
The sun was setting as I stepped onto the sand, bathing everything in a golden glow. Down at the water’s edge, silhouetted against the burnished rays reflecting on the surface of the sea, a barefoot figure in a backwards cap and a pair of loose shorts was playing with a football, alternating between keepy-uppies and juggling the ball between his feet, the muscles in his powerful legs flexing as he enacted a series of complicated twisting manoeuvres.
Then he spun and saw me, and he stopped dead, his chest heaving. He was too far away for me to see the expression in his eyes. I kicked off my trainers, leaving them well away from the tide line next to his, and moved towards him. As I drew closer, I couldn’t stop my gaze from dragging down over the contours of his lean, strong body, all the way down to his feet. My heart was pounding, and my mouth was dry, and as much as I wanted to blame that on my withdrawal side effects, it had nothing to do with the withdrawal and everything to do with the man standing in front of me.
When I reached him, he studied me warily for a moment before he huffed out a soft, resigned breath, the corners of his lips curving up.
