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“That’s so fucking hot.” Pressing a kiss to the inside of his thigh, I stroked my palm up his trembling leg. Then I froze. What was I doing? The sex things were all finished, and now we could pretend it had never happened. So why was I kissing and touching him still?
A heavy silence descended between us. I moved into a seated position, pulling my knees up and leaning my back against the wall at the side of the bed. There were rustling sounds as Theo cleaned himself up and then lay back down.
“Are you going to sit there all night?”
My gaze swung to his. He raised a brow, giving my bare mattress a pointed glance before returning to me.
“No. I guess I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
When I went to get off the bed, he gripped my wrist, stopping me. “These beds are huge. There’s plenty of room for us both.” He hesitated. “It’s more than likely that I’ll wake you up with my nightmares, but it’ll be more comfortable than the sofa.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s okay.” I gave him a casual shrug, even though my heart was racing.
“You need to wear underwear.”
Obviously. I wasn’t going to sleep naked with him. We’d already crossed so many lines tonight, and now we needed space to regroup. Space…while sharing a bed.
I sighed as I retrieved a jockstrap from the closet. At this rate, I’d be the one with insomnia while he had a full night’s sleep. Now that everything was over, my brain was blaring alarms that all went along the lines ofwhat the fuck did you just do with your teammate?
When I’d turned out the light and slipped under the covers, the darkness blanketing me, I closed my eyes and tried to switch off my brain.
Sleep never came.
23
THEO
Something had woken me. I blinked, rubbing at my face. When my eyes adjusted, I noticed two things—firstly, my phone was telling me that it was 3:40 a.m., which meant that I’d managed to sleep for more than three hours in a row for the first time since I’d been here, and secondly, and most importantly, it hadn’t been a nightmare that had woken me.
The reason for my rude awakening became clear when the bed shifted, then shifted again, and a frustrated huff came from my right.
Jordan. What had I been thinking, inviting him into my bed?
Reaching across him, I flipped on the lamp, and he gave a shout of surprise, burrowing his head under his pillow. I glanced over at him, my stomach flipping as I took in the sight of my teammate’s fit body sprawled out on my bed, naked other than his jockstrap, which, from the view I had, he might as well have not been wearing. All it did was accentuate the rounded, muscular curves of his ass.
“Why’re you burning my eyes?” he mumbled from beneath the pillow. I ripped the pillow away from him, and he blinked up at me, all tousled hair, sleepy grey eyes, and pouting lips.
I wanted to kiss him. I shouldn’t want to kiss him. I didn’t even think he wanted me to kiss him—there had been a disconcerted expression on his face when he’d been sitting on my bed last night, hugging his knees, looking so vulnerable and confused that all I’d wanted to do was to take him in my arms and promise him that everything was going to be okay. That was a feeling I’d never experienced with him before, and it wasn’t something I was going to act on, either.
“You woke me up in the early hours of the morning with all your tossing and turning.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Stay still, or I’ll kick you out of my bed, and you can go and sleep on the sofa.”
He glared back at me, now fully awake. “Is this how you treat all your bed partners?”
“Is this how you do?” I countered. “You were moving around and making enough noise to pull me out of my sleep—a sleep that was actually nightmare-free, for once.”
His face fell. Rolling onto his back, he rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Ah. Sorry. I’m not…I couldn’t sleep. I’ll take the sofa.”
Instead of following the sensible course of action, I placed a hand on his forearm. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” He laughed without humour.
“What if I turn the light off?” Lowering my voice, I flipped off the lamp. “Want to talk about it now?”
He sighed. With the lamp off, his face was only dimly lit by the sliver of light coming from the doorway, but I could easily see the way his mouth twisted, his eyes falling shut as he tugged on a handful of his hair. “I don’t want to…but…fuck. Dr. Weaver. I keep hearing her in my head, telling me that it’s better to talk about it. If I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh at me or take the piss.”
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious, Lewin. Keep your judgemental thoughts to yourself, and if you laugh or take the piss, I can and will punch you in the mouth.”
