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“Okay.”
“Drink your tea,” he commanded, and I lifted my mug to my lips.
34
THEO
“I’ll be back.” I left Grant shuffling the deck of cards while Ainsley, Lars, and Reuben continued their ongoing debate about their favourite flavour of crisps, and followed Jordan into his kitchen. He’d been quiet tonight, and I was worried. He hadn’t even made any of his usual teasing remarks to me. We’d settled into a friendship, and as his friend, I was concerned for him.
Friendship. I was getting good at lying to myself. What I felt for him wasn’t friendship. It was far, far more than that, but we’d made an agreement, and I was doing everything in my power to stick to it. It was easier when other people were around, of course, but in the evenings, when we were lying on our respective beds and texting each other about anything and everything, I missed him with a physical ache.
My teammate was standing with his back to me, his hands braced on the counter, his head bowed and his posture radiating tension. Something was wrong, and I couldn’t bear to see him like this. Even though I knew that I shouldn’t, I came up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Jordan.”
He jumped but then sighed, melting into me. I pressed my lips to the side of his head. “What’s the matter, baby?”
His hands flexed on the counter. “You can’t call me that when we’re not together.”
He was right. I’d said it unthinkingly. It felt natural. Right. Fuck, I was making things so much harder. “I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”
“You shouldn’t be doing this. Any one of our friends could walk in here and see us.”
“Tell me to go and I will.”
“I don’t want you to go.” Letting go of the counter, he turned in my embrace, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder. “Nothing’s wrong, really. It’s been an emotionally draining day, I guess.” He suddenly stiffened, a gasp flying from his mouth, and tore himself out of my hold.
Grant stood in the doorway, watching us. His face betrayed nothing, but all I could think of was the fact that he’d just seen two of his teammates wrapped up in each other, in a completely out-of-character display.
Fuck.
“It’s, uh, it’s not—” Jordan was lost for words for a minute, and then he gathered himself, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath. “Grant. Can I talk to you for a minute?” He shot me a pleading look, and I nodded, heading towards the doorway, brushing past Grant, who stood aside to let me leave. I couldn’t bring myself to go far, though, in case Jordan needed me, and so I leaned against the wall next to the kitchen door, waiting.
From my vantage point, I could hear Jordan’s words when he began to speak. “I wanted to talk to you. About what you saw just then. I’ve had a bit of a, uh, a draining day, and Theo was comforting me.”
“It’s none of my business,” Grant responded.
“Yeah, okay. But the reason I’ve had a draining day kind of is your business.”
I heard the squeak of Grant’s trainers on the kitchen tiles, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft. “What’s up, man?”
“You’re my captain, and so I—I wanted to tell you.” Jordan exhaled sharply. “I’m bi. I hope—I hope it doesn’t change anything. It’s not gonna affect my ability to play, and I’m not sure if I’ll go public or whatever, but I wanted you to know.”
Fucking hell. Of all the things he could have said, I’d never imagined he’d come out. I’d thought…I’d thought it was a case of keeping that side of him on the island.
Then again, why shouldn’t he tell people if he wanted to?
Why shouldn’t you tell people, Theo?
“You know…I did wonder.” Grant’s voice was thoughtful. “I thought you might have had a bit of a thing for Theo last season.”
“Youwhat? I hated him!” The indignance in Jordan’s tone made me smile before Grant’s words sunk in. Jordan and I had hated each other before. How could he have seen things that weren’t there?
“No one has such strong reactions to another person unless there are deep feelings there.” There was a dull thud, a muffled curse, and then a bark of laughter from Grant. “Alright, alright, no need to hit me.”
“Whatever. I hated him, and now he’s my friend. But that’s irrelevant right now. I just want to know if it’s gonna cause any problems for you.” Jordan gave a defeated sigh. “I don’t want to be a problem.”
“Okay. Me, personally? No problems, man. You’ve got my support, one hundred percent. I can’t speak for the rest of the team, though. If you do go public, then…yeah. There could be issues.” Grant swore under his breath. “Don’t let that stop you, though. Fuck it. Fuck whoever has a problem with it.”
“Thanks.” That one word was so soft and vulnerable that it broke me. I clenched my fists at my sides, forcing myself to stay where I was instead of going to him like every part of me wanted to.
