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“You know of him?”
“No, not really, it’s just…” With a wave, she tried to fight a bigger grin from her face.
“Are you implying something with that gesture?”
Flopping onto the edge of the bed, she leaned back and puffed her frizzy hair from her face. “I hear he’s rather handsome, no?”
“Draven, ‘handsome’?” I suspected Draven and I had been noticed in the gardens, and she’d heard all about it. Thathadbeen my plan, that we be witnessed. “I surely had not noticed.”
Ellyn’s left eyebrow arched. “Youpropositionedhim, didn’t you? Tell me, everyone says you did.”
I perched my ass on the edge of the bed beside her. “Before or after I had his cock in my mouth?”
She squealed and landed a playful thump on my arm. “You’re a fiend, Lark!” Heat warmed her face. Her chuckles faded and in a low voice, she asked, “Was it good?”
“It certainly would have been, had I not been arrested during the act.”
She blinked, then snorted. “Your life is such a pantomime.”
“You’re more right than you know.”
“I wish I was getting some.”
“We both know it’s not cock you want.”
She turned pensive, and it was time to move this conversation on. “Draven’s room?”
“The farthest from the entrance, the meadow side, right by the balcony overlooking the southern end of the gardens. Be nice to him, hm? I hear he lost a son a while back.”
A son? He hadn’t looked old enough to have much of a family, but they started them young in War. I pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. “I’m always nice, and I’ll pay you back.”
“Lark, I want details!” she called.
“A fool never fucks and tells.” I chuckled as I slipped back inside the servants’ corridor, but my smile wilted as I left Ellyn and her friendship behind. For all my jests and flippancy, I couldn’t shake the sense a net was tightening, choking off my air. My heart ticked like a clock, its hands close to midnight. If I didn’t get control of the rumors, my time at the Court of Love would soon come to an end. Four years,poof. I’d become accustomed to Love’s strange ways. Home was so far away, and so long ago, I could dismiss it as a dream. Or a nightmare.
I threw my hood over my head and navigated the corridors and twisting staircases, careful to keep my gaze away from anyone I passed. Unfortunately, being blessed with beauty and flare made navigating the palace anonymously almost impossible.There goes Lark, what’s he up to now? Lark, won’t you tell us a tale? Lark, juggle these apples. Lark, dance for us. Lark, come to my room. Lark… I’ll cut you where they won’t see. Lark, kneel, lick my hand, my cock, drink me down…
Memories twitched, unbound inside my head.
I stumbled, tripped over my own feet, and fell against the wall.
My heart galloped up my throat. I slammed my hands over my face. Brittle panic tried to drop me to my knees, rendering me helpless, but I couldn’t let it get a hold of me. I pressed my back against the cool wall, then my hands, closed my eyes, and breathed. The panic would pass. Everything passed, eventually. Wasn’t that the only truth survivors had? They’d survived. No trifling thing, yet as simple as continuing to breathe.
You exist to please me.
You are mine.
My traitor’s son…
The ghost of my missing finger throbbed a second heartbeat. But its heated beat soon faded, and so did the memories.
Memories, dreams, they were all the same. They couldn’t hurt me here.
I pushed on, tasting a scream. I held it back. I always did. If the screams escaped, they might never stop.
A chuckle slipped free instead, the sound slightly unhinged. But that was fine. One slip, no more. I controlled it, controlled myself. I was Lark, the dancer, the lover, the fool.
With my head clear, and my heart slow, I approached the meadow-side rooms.
