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But that stricken look on her face… Had those been tears in her eyes?
Surely, he could have handled it a little less clumsily.
“God, you’re an asshole, Jackson.”
As uncomfortable as it was to admit, there was a definite pattern in his behavior with women. More specifically, in the way he left them. Ever since Renee had shattered his heart, he’d been careful to keep the women in his life at arm’s length. At the BDSM clubs, he was the one who routinely ended a scene. He always held something back, even when his chosen partner for the night gave her all.
He’d downplayed his relationship with Sakura, telling her and himself that they’d known going into it that it had a built-in expiration date. When she’d professed her love, and even her willingness to relocate across the world to stay with him, he’d refused to allow her to consider uprooting her life for him. The sacrifice was too great, their cultures too different. She would end up regretting it.
But had he done that to protect her? Or himself?
The situation with Lia was different, he reminded himself for the tenth time in as many minutes. Theirs had not been a romantic relationship, or even equals hooking up at a BDSM club for some negotiated play. It was a finite training situation and the term had ended. It was as simple as that. She’d comported herself well, and he’d told her as much. If he’d come inside her place with her, things would have gotten… complicated.
Yeah, he could have handled it better. But at least he’d gotten the message across. And he’d meant what he said about their remaining friends. They would no doubt run into each other at The Garden, and perhaps they’d enjoy a scene without the constraints of the trainer/trainee dynamic. But there needed to be a cooling off period before anything like that took place. Not only for her, but for himself as well.
With a heavy sigh, he rolled over and closed his eyes. But it would be a long time before sleep finally found him.
≈
Something was buzzing. Big lazy bumblebees were bumping into each other.Bzzz. Bzzz. The sun was shining, the grass soft beneath their naked bodies…Bzzz. Bzzz…
Lia opened her eyes to blinding sun slanting annoyingly through the window.
She wasn’t in a meadow with a gorgeous naked man holding her in his arms. And the buzzing wasn’t from the bees in her dream. It was her phone.Her heart dropped suddenly and then rose again, as if on the end of an elastic string.Beau had come to his senses!
As she hurriedly fumbled for her cell,she knocked the damn thing to the floor. Fully awake now, she tumbled out of the bed and landed on the rug with a hard thump. She grabbed the vibrating phone and clickedaccept.
“Hello?” she said breathlessly.
“Hey there, girlfriend. Sorry I missed your call last night. You didn’t leave a message. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Oh,” she said heavily. “It’s you.”
Lucia laughed. “Gee, thanks.”
“Sorry,” Lia said. “I thought it was Beau.”
“What’s going on? How was dinner with your parents?”
“Dinner was fine. It’s what happened afterward that wasn’t,” Lia said bitterly.
“Oh, no. What happened?”
Lia sighed. “You want the short version or the whole sorry mess?”
“Tell me everything.”
Lia had stood there, mouth hanging open in shocked surprise as Beau had walked away. She kept waiting for him to turn around, to rush back and take her into his arms. But he just kept moving. She heard the chirping sound of his car unlocking and then the slam of his door. It wasn’t until he’d driven away that she found the wherewithal to let herself into her apartment.
Once inside, she tore off her dress and tossed it aside. With trembling fingers, she released the knots at her waist and between her breasts. The ropes dropped to the ground, and she left them where they fell.
She’d lain awake half the night, alternating between confusion, self-doubt, longing and rage. She’d texted Beau a dozen times and deleted every one without sending it. Now, tears streaming down her cheeks, she poured out her tale of woe. Lucia listened quietly, clucking sympathetically in all the right places. She never once said, “I told you so.”
When Lia eventually spluttered to a stop, Lucia said gently, “I’m so sorry he’s hurt you, Lia. You want to come up to the compound and hang out? You know you’re always welcome.”
Lia considered. The idea was tempting. But she dismissed it. “Thanks, Lucia. You’re the best. But I’m afraid if I head back to The Enclave right now, I’ll just sit around licking my wounds. I think I need some time to myself.”
“Okay,querida.If you change your mind, you know where we are.”
