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“Tell me something, dove,” he says in a deep exhale. “Where do you want to live?”
I’m taken aback by his question. “You’re going to ask me that right now?”
“I want an answer, dove,” he growls, shooting me an unkind look of warning. “Do you even want to move in with me full time? Is it me you despise, not the houses we’ve toured the past three weeks?”
“It’s not that at all,” I pant. “I want to be with you forever, Carter. I do! It’s just…” I hang my head, his fingertips drawing through my scalp. I lean my forehead onto his inner thigh, desperately wanting to pull at his zipper with my teeth, but his treacherous belt still stands in my way. “I don’t know, Carter. None of those houses felt right to me.”
“Why not?”
Swallowing hard, I subdue a tremble in my exposed posture. “Because it’s just… I don’t know, really.”
“You do know,” he contradicts. “Say it, dove.”
When I finally muster enough courage to say something, it floods out of my mouth like a cracked dam. “I’m just scared, Carter.”
“Scared about what?”
“Aboutus.”
He grips my scalp in his hand, pulling my head back up. Somehow, with my head down and my eyes darted away, he’s managed to undo the clasp on his belt. I take it as a warning, a negative threat, and I hope I didn’t just earn a punishment. Then again, he hasn’t done that since the finality of the Lacey incident.
I’ve gotten better over the last few weeks, including the two weeks Carter spent getting interrogated by every law enforcement agency in the country. Once Frances Johnson, the disgraced ex-mayor, was indicted with enough charges to land him life in prison, they gave Carter back to me, and we healed—physically and emotionally—together. It could be better, though. Even after Frances pled guilty and was sent to Sing Sing to enjoy a four-by-four cell with murderers, I still feel like he’s nearby, his spirit looming through the state.
I guess that doesn’t ensure that Carter won’t use his belt on me, but I’m hoping it’s enough to deter a hearty spanking with it.
“You have nothing to worry about with us,” he says, speaking smoothly. “It’s not much different from you coming to stay at my penthouse every day. Or like when we stay at Anita’s. It’s just expansion.”
“Exactly,” I breathe. “I don’t know if I want a big house.”
He cocks his head sideways, watching me closely while his hand pets the top of my head methodically. “Elaborate, dove. What are you saying?”
“If we get a big house, I don’t know if I can handle it. I’ll be there alone, without you, during the day, and I don’t want to be that lonely. I want somewhere that keeps you close to me when you’re home. I don’t like the space between us. Unless, of course, while you’re at work, then maybe I could find something to do, too.”
He bites his lower lip, a familiar rage rising in his darkened eyes.
“Is this about you having a job again, Isabella?”
I swallow, hating when he uses my full name.
“Sort of…”
He flicks his belt off, undoing it from the loops on his pants. I push back against the bar as much as possible, already preparing for what’s coming. He nearly lost me before, and I know that asking for independence right now, so soon after I was almost ruined by his rival, isn’t the best idea. I just want to remind him that whatever house we pick is the house I’ll be trapped in all day.
I don’t like being alone without him, and he doesn’t like me being in public without protection.
But even in public, where do I go? My father is in the hospital, and while he has stabilized, his mind has worsened. I have tried reaching out to Sam but to no avail. At least with Jacob Lacey, I had a purpose. I had a job to do and bills to take care of. With Carter, I feel myself slowly growing roots in a place he won’t be near. If I stay stagnant in life, and he keeps moving forward, then won’t that tear us apart?
Bracing myself for the worst, he stalks behind me and slaps the looped belt against his open palm.
“We’re not talking about this anymore,” he growls. “I’ve told you enough times before, Isabella. I’m not losing you. I let you stray too far before, and it got you kidnapped and wounded. If you think I’m going to overlook that and let you wander Manhattan alone for the sake of some frivolous income, then you’re wrong. I’ll give you something to do.”
I hang my head slightly, bracing for the imminent impact against my ass.
Chapter Two
Isabella
The hit against my skin never comes.
