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I’ve always known.
Still, it doesn’t stop a shiver from racing up my spine when the door to the dining room opens, and I catch a glimpse of Carter at the head of the table, his arms on either side of him, and a look of cold and calculating fury on his face. Everyone gathered around the table looks uneasy, like Carter is a volcano about to erupt, capable of destroying everyone in his wake.
When Tristan comes out of the room, I snap to attention and try to hold his gaze. He brushes past me on his way into the living room and stops in front of Sam. She is sitting on the couch in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, with her hair piled on top of her head and a book in her lap. Tristan bends down to scoop up the book and gives Sam a sweet smile.
Sam gives him a smile in return, which makes some of the knots in my stomach unfurl.
Over the past few days, Sam and I haven’t spoken much, and I’ve barely seen her because she’s been sequestered somewhere in the house with Tristan, but on the rare occasions when I do see her, I’m relieved. She looks far happier than I’ve ever seen her, and she and Tristan have a certain ease around each other, the kind I recognize all too well.
She’s falling hard for Carter’s cousin, and I don’t have the heart to tell her to get herself out.
Not that I think it’s going to do her any good.
I can tell by the tender way Tristan brushes his hand against hers that it’s too late. She laces her fingers through his, and the look on her face makes me unable to look away. A moment later, Tristan hands her the book back and presses a kiss to her forehead. Then he saunters off, and Sam follows him with her eyes. When she twists her head to the side, and our gazes meet, I know I should be embarrassed that I got caught watching them.
But I can’t help myself.
It warms my heart to know that something beautiful and warm can grow in the middle of all this chaos.
Sam snaps her book shut and wanders over to us. “Anita, can I help you with anything?”
Anita is standing near the stove, chopping up some vegetables. “I’m fine, dear. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable?”
“You have a beautiful home,” Sam offers before coming to a stop on the other side of the counter. “Tristan told me about it, but I had no idea it would look like this.”
Antia offers Sam a smile over her shoulders. “You’re welcome to come by any time.”
Sam averts her gaze and glances over at me. Guilt flashes across her face as she shoves both hands into the pockets of her shorts. “Tristan told me about what happened at the hospital. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
I nod. “It’s a good thing Rich was there when he was.”
Sam searches my face. “Yeah, I guess so, but it’s still a lot to handle. You’ve been through a lot of shit lately, Isabella.”
And as usual, Sam can’t understand why I’m putting myself through this because of Carter.
I don’t want to keep explaining us to her, not if she’s determined to misunderstand.
Anita says something, and Sam leans over the counter to hear her better. I catch a glimpse of her smooth, unblemished back, and I breathe a sigh of relief. When Sam follows my gaze and sees where I’m looking, she leans away and stands up straighter.
“Tristan isn’t like that,” Sam says without looking at me. “He doesn’t play mind games, and he wouldn’t ever hurt me like that.”
I swallow. “I know this is hard for you to understand, but it’s not like that between Carter and me either. He really does love me, and I love him.”
“I know you think you do—”
“I do,” I interrupt, with a little more force than necessary. “Every couple has a different dynamic.”
A part of me is glad her relationship with Tristan is a lot more normal and a lot less topsy-turvy, but the other part of me can’t help but feel isolated. She’s only been in his orbit for a few weeks, and she already seems much healthier and happier without any of the bullshit I had to endure.
And none of the scars that I carry as a reminder of what we’ve been through.
The other part of me is shocked to realize I’m jealous.
Sam deserves to be happy, but I can’t help but wonder why the universe is rewarding her and punishing me. A year ago, before my life turned into a battlefield, and I didn’t have the messy and complicated but incredible love of a man like Carter, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life.
Or who I was supposed to be.
I know that without Carter, I would’ve slaved away as Jacob Lacey’s receptionist, dreaming of a better life for myself as I struggled to support my father. Now, I have everything I can ever want but no freedom to enjoy it. Even the thought of going outside makes me uneasy, given the number of near misses—and not-so-near misses—I’ve experienced lately.
