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“You’re welcome, Shayne.”
We walk a couple of minutes before hitting a dead end. Before I get the opportunity to quiz him about it, he leans down, pulls a lever, and the wall shifts sideways.
“Mother, Mary, and Joseph,” Mera gasps. “It’s a whole new world down here.”
“Welcome to the Alvarez sanctuary for wayward souls needing a place to hide,” a man’s gruff, gravelly voice announces.
Looking to the side, we see a mouthwatering man leaned against the side of the wall, smoking a cigarette, wearing a blinding white smile on his face.
“Shamus!” Luca greets. “How’s it hanging?”
“A little to the left.” Another man chuckles. “How are you this fine day, Luca? Is the sun shining on the other side?”
“Texas, you may wanna see a doctor about that sideways problem you have. It could be a sign that your dick’s rotting,” Luca harasses him.
“Nah, it’s just well-used,” Texas volleys.
My body heats, my embarrassment coating my skin, burning me from the inside out.
“What are you, Hugh Hefner or something? Bringing two centerfold beauties down to visit us so we feel like royalty or some shit,” another man asks, smirking.
“Nah, Kruger. I left my robe and cigar home today,” Luca banters.
Leaning into Mera, I quiz her for information that has me confused and feeling like an outsider. “Who’s Hugh Hefner, and what’s a centerfold? And why would it be hanging to the left? Do you think he needs medical intervention?”
“I’m not sure,” she hums before pointing to her midsection. “But my question is, can… you know, it rot?”
“I don’t know. The nuns never covered that in health class,” I respond. The men must’ve been listening to our private conversation because raucous laughter echoes around us.
“Oh, they are a treat, aren’t they?” the one named Texas asks. “The boys are going to have fun with this.”
“Be nice,” Luca scolds the lot of them. “This is all new to them. Treat them with respect. They don’t understand mongrel speech.”
“What’s mongrel? We know a few different linguistics, but that’s one language we never learned about,” I state, mentally going back through language classes.
“It’s mutt talk, darlin’. It means you don’t speak dog like us strays,” Kruger tells us with a glint of bemusement dancing behind his irises.
“I’m getting a headache,” Mera announces, rubbing circles around her temples.
“Bullet, you motherfucker!” Texas bellows.
My eyes widen in shock as a dog shuffles his feet next to Texas, kicking grass onto his shins. Did that really happen? Did that dog pee on him?
“What’d I say about marking me, you shithead?” I swear the dog, Bullet, has a smile across his muzzle as he happily saunters away instead of scampering like I’d do if he’d used that tone on me.
This must be a common act for poor Bullet. I’m not sure how much longer he’ll survive if he keeps accosting Texas that way. The man looks fit to be tied, and it’s like he’s ready to filet him of his pelt.
Wheezing beside me has me shifting my attention to Mera. She’s clutching her stomach, laughing to the extent that tears are descending both cheeks. “Breathe, Mera,” I command because she’s turning blue. “Don’t make me perform CPR on you.”
My threat has the opposite effect than what I was anticipating. Instead of the men rushing over to help me, Texas rubs his hands together before saying, “Girl-on-girl action, now, that’s something I can get behind. Someone go grab a tub of popcorn.”
“Get it yourself. I’ll just plop myself on this patch of grass.” Kruger cackles.
“It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen a live show,” Shamus gleefully says. “Whoever’s going for popcorn, grab the lube.”
The men must not have seen the group of women coming up behind them, because the next thing I know, this little bit of a thing blurs past Kruger and tackles Texas to the ground with an “oof” coming out of the burly man. Another woman comes up behind Shamus and starts slapping the back of his head, claiming she needs to “knock the sense back into him.” And poor Kruger, he’s being chased in circles by a mini tornado who is intent on causing bodily harm.
“Welcome to the family, Shayne,” Charlee says from beside me, her voice full of giggles.
