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“Absolutely fucking not. The first time was traumatizing enough. I didn’t want to fuck one of the bunnies for months after that detailed lesson. Where the hell did you get your hands on those books anyway? They were fucking graphic.”
“Your ma got them from the library,” I answer.
“Why is it that that’s not shocking,” he mumbles, his body quivering in distaste. “Some of those images scarred me for life.”
“As they should’ve. There are consequences to our actions, son. Your ma wanted to make sure you were well aware of what could happen if you didn’t wrap your willy up.”
“My willy, Pops? Really?”
“That’s all your ma, son. She couldn’t even think of it as a cock or a dick. Not when it came to her precious boy.”
“That’s not true. The time she caught me… in the act, she threatened to cut my dick off after she swatted it with a wooden spoon.” That causes me to laugh hysterically. “Not funny, old man. I wasn’t wearing any clothes and that shit hurt for days. I couldn’t even take a piss without having sharp pains.”
“Bet you made sure you were in the clear after that,” I guess.
“Never fucked one of the club bitches again unless I knew Ma was either out of town, or asleep in her bed at y’all’s house,” he confirms. “Now stop reminiscing over my scars and go take care of your woman.”
“Bossy fucker.”
“Again, Pops. Who’s fault is that?”
“Come get me if you hear any news, Gunner.”
“You’ve got it, old man. Now, shoo. The grownups have some work to do.”
The lightness of our conversation, the banter with my kid, it’s what I need right now. Along with the wake-up call both he and his sister just gave me. I tend to get lost in my head, especially when one of my own has been taken against their will or injured.
And Luca and Mera? I’m feeling guilty that I wasn’t as prepared as I’d thought we were.
I should’ve known better. The Crumbley assholes have been ahead of us every step of the way.
Not this time.
I’m getting my brother and his woman back, and once I do… I’m going to decimate their entire organization.
Limb by motherfucking limb.
Shayne
I wantto cease being this zombie version of myself, but no matter how much I fight off the depression, the harder it is to dig myself out of the foggy mass. It’s encompassing me, dragging me into a dark pit of despair.
It’s not just Mera's being in danger lurking in the background of my mind that makes it hard to breathe, it’s that I miss Julius to the depths of my psyche. He keeps himself distanced from me which only adds to my bereft emotions. Food tastes bland, and sleep only comes with bad dreams where I relive that day in a cyclone of never-ending nightmares.
My heart isn’t broken, it’s taken a hiatus. I’m becoming numb with each passing second. The longer I experience the aloofness between us, the worse it becomes. Self-loathing has wrapped itself around me in a blanket of darkness. Even with the girls telling me it’s not my fault, their words begin to feel like lies.
“Shayne? Temptress, are you awake, baby?” Julius asks as he scoots into the bed beside me. The depression of the mattress has me billowing back into him. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry it’s taking me so damn long to bring your girl back to you.”
“Not your fault,” I rasp. “They did this, not you.”
“In my head, I know that, but in my heart, I carry all the blame,” he tells me.
“I miss her, Julius. I didn’t realize how vital she was in my life until she was gone,” I confide. “I don’t just want her back. Ineedher back.”
“We’re getting closer, baby. I can feel it,” he expresses, banging on his chest vehemently.
“But, Julius, I need you too. I’m so terrified and lonely without you.”
“I don’t mean to neglect you, baby. I’m working hard to bring her back to you. That’s all I’m focused on so that you and I can make our dreams come true. I know that without them, our lives will never be complete. We can’t get married without your maid of honor and my best man. Shayne?”
