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“It means you need to get better, Pierson.”
“You’ve said that before, but how will I know when I’m better?”
“When you letit all go, darlin’. When you realize that your life is worth livin’.” I nod as I climb off the bed and shake my arms out. Tarek watches me intently but doesn’t say anything.
“Want me to show you around?” he finally asks. I nod my head, a little excited to be leaving the room. I can even feel a smile tugging across my face. Tarek smiles back at me before walking toward the door and pulling it open. “Come on.” I step into the hallway and take it all in. Doors line the hall, most of them closed.
“This is all the rooms. Some of the guys live here, some don’t, but they all have a room just in case,” he tells me before motioning for me to walk. I walk down the hall and out into the open space. Guys wander around drinking and talking; girls hang out in groups.
“This is the main room. We usually all hang out here,” Tarek tells me. I nod my head as I look around and just take it in.
“It’s big,” I say softly.
“Yeah. We like to have space. You want a drink?” Tarek turns to look at me, and I can see the truth in this man’s eyes. He’s just trying to help me. Why? Why does he care? Is it all because of what happened to him? Does he see me as his redemption? I can’t be anyone’s redemption.
“Sure.” He smiles and nods, leading me toward the bar across the room. He tells the girl to give us two beers, and she quickly slides them across to him with a smile. Tarek pops the tops off and passes me one, which I bring to my lips, taking a small drink, nearly gagging.
“Not much of a drinker?” he asks through a laugh.
“Not really,” I admit.
“Good to know.”
“What do you guys do here?”
“Well, that’s a loaded question. What don’t we do is a better one. We dabble in a little bit of everything, but mainly, we run the strip club and a motorcycle repair shop in town,” he says.
“What else?” He turns his head to look at me, and I see it. It’s off-limits.
“Not everything we do is productive to society. Let’s put it that way,” he answers. I nod my head. They’re into illegal shit, just like I’ve always been told. So why do I feel so comfortable here? Why do I feel safe inside these walls? Not even in my home did I feel this safe.
“You can talk to me,” Tarek says, catching my attention.
“I was just thinking that it all feels so safe here.”
“You are safe here.”
“How can you say that when you have no idea what I’m running from?” Tarek runs his hand through his hair before turning and leaning against the bar as he stares at me.
“We’re family here. We protect each other. It’s that simple.”
“I’m not part of this family.”
“You’re here with me, making you part of this family. While you’re here, any of these guys would lay their life down for you.” Tears burn the back of my eyes as I think about that. There’s no way they’d do that for someone they don’t even know me.
“That makes no sense,” I tell him.
“It doesn’t have to make sense. It is what it is.”
“My father killed a man.” Now he shifts from foot to foot, standing up taller.
“You wanna go back to the room and talk about this?”
“No.”
“Okay.” I swallow hard and lick my suddenly dry lips. I take a deep breath to steady myself before opening my mouth again.
“I saw it all. It wasn’t just him. It was the man I was supposed to marry too.”
