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“Of course there is. There was life before me, and there will be life after me.” I can feel my heart breaking inside of me. I don’t want to let him go. I want to hold onto him forever.
“I …”
“It’s okay, Pierson. You don’t have to say anything. I get it.”
“Do you?” I ask, my eyes full of tears now.
“I do. You have feelin’s for me. I won’t lie and say I don’t feel the same for you because I do. I didn’t think I would, but the longer you’re here, the longer you’re with me, the more I feel.”
“Then don’t leave me, Tarek. You don’t have to do this. There has to be another way.”
“There isn’t. Your dad is untouchable to the outside world, Pierson. I think you already know that.”
“There has to be something,” I snap as I pull away from him and wander the room. I can’t help it. I need to move, to do something, to feel something. He’s killing me slowly. He’s breaking me, and I can do nothing to stop it.
“I’m sorry, Pierson.”
“That’s it? You’re sorry?” Now I spin to face him, anger burning in my veins.
“That’s the best I got. I can’t change things,” he says.
“Yes, you can! You can decide not to do this,” I’m nearly begging him.
“That’s not an option. I fucked up once, Pierson. I’m not gonna leave you to the same fate I left her.”
“She made her own choices, Tarek! You didn’t do that. You don’t have to do this.” Now I am begging. I’ll do whatever he wants me to do as long as he doesn’t go through with this.
“Would you just think about it a second? It makes sense, Pierson!”
“No, it doesn’t. Bethany made her choice. Yeah, I fucked up once and tried to kill myself, but I don’t want that anymore, Tarek. I want you!” My chest feels like it’s caving in. I can’t think straight and don’t know if I want to. I feel like I’m slowly falling apart, and he’s the cause. Who the hell knew that when I tried to kill myself months ago to escape my family, it would come back on me full circle?
“It changes nothin’, darlin’. I gotta do this.”
Chapter 17
Tarek
She’s pissed at me, and I get it. Pierson’s hurt and upset. I understand why she feels that way, but she isn’t seeing my side of things. Letting it go isn’t an option. I can’t do that.
Deep down inside, I feel like this will make things right even if I don’t return from it. It’ll ease the ache of what I did back then, filling the void left inside me when she died. I can do this. I can do it for Pierson.
“You okay?” Twitch asks as I bring my third beer to my lips and take a long pull.
“I’m good.”
“I assume she didn’t take it well?”
I shake my head.
“Not in the slightest,” I tell him.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I’m sure. I can’t just have Pierson walking around lost all the time, you know? She deserves some peace.”
“I get that, but you might not walk out of there alive, brother.”
“Then I did the best I could,” I tell him, setting the bottle on the counter and picking at the label.
