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I pull out and head for the realtor’s office. Sage has been staying with Ranger and Karen since everything happened, but she needs a place of her own. She needs a place to raise the baby, and I’m going to make sure she has that.
It doesn’t take me long to do what I need to do, and the keys are in my hand. Then I head to the store and buy everything she’s going to need. Same day fucking delivery is amazing. They’ll have the house set up for her tonight. I know she isn’t going to take the keys from me and be happy. So I have a plan.
Instead of dealing with any more tonight, I head to the local bar to grab a drink. I sit on the stool and order round after round. I drink until everything is hazy and the room starts to spin. I drink until I can’t fucking see straight, and then I pull out my cell phone. I’m stupid. I’m drunk. I know this is wrong, and yet I do it anyway.
“Hello?”
“Do you know what the fuck I want to do to you?” I hear her sigh on the other end.
“What do you want, Ares?”
“You. I want you.”
“You can’t have me, not anymore. You fucked up. You left me.”
“I want to hurt you, Little Lamb. Don’t you get that?” I ask as I stumble out of the bar and toward my car. I climb in and sit in the front seat, one hand on the wheel, the other gripping the phone.
“You did hurt me. More than you know.”
“Not that kind of hurt, Sage, and you know it. You remember I killed for you, Sage! More than once, I killed for you!”
“What?” she gasps. “Who else did you kill?” she asks, not knowing I killed my father.
“It’s all over, Sage. All of it. He can’t hurt you. No one can hurt you but me!”
“Who did you kill, Ares?”
“My father! I fucking killed my father for you, Sage!” I scream into the line. My head spins as I grip the phone tighter.
“Oh my God.”
“You didn’t know, did you?”
“No.”
“Now you do. You remember me, Sage, do you hear me? You fucking remember me forever because that scar on your palm? That means more than marriage, and you know it,” I remind her. She sniffles, and I know she’s crying. Fuck, I want to see her cry. I want to lick the tears.
“Why did you leave me, Ares?”
“You need to live, Sage, and I need to drown in the darkness.”
“You don’t have to do this,” she sobs into the line.
“Oh, I do, Little Lamb. You don’t want our baby to know who I am or what I’ve done. You don’t want it to be like me, Sage,” I tell her. She gasps once more.
“You know?”
“Of course, I know.”
“And you don’t care? You don’t care enough to be with us?”
“I do care, Sage, that’s why I’m staying away! Don’t you see that? I don’t want to hurt you or the baby. It’s what’s best for everyone.”
“No. It’s what’s best for you! Not all of us.”
“No, it’s for you, Sage. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve hurt you enough, haven’t I? Or are you like me, Sage? You want the fucking pain and torture? Is that what it is?”
“I can handle it, Ares. You think I’m weak, don’t you?” Now I laugh.
