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Jilly:Knitting.
Killer:The homecoming queen knits? Are you making scarves for your pet rats?
Jilly:No. A blanket for my nephew.
Killer:Oh yeah?
Jilly:I know Caroline texted you, and I understand why you went to Bent first. I refuse to be some moody chick who can’t see past her own nose. I had dinner with them last night.
Killer:I hated keeping it from you, but I figured Bent was the least likely to get an arrow through the heart at the news, you know? It wasn’t my story to tell, but I couldn’t leave her alone with that weight because she’s too afraid to upset you guys.
Jilly:I get it. It was the right choice. You’re annoyingly good at that, at making the right choice.
Killer:You live and learn. I made bad ones pretty consistently for my first twenty years on this planet.
Jilly:Oh yeah? Like how bad we talking?
Killer:Absolutely not sharing those stories with you right now. I don’t need to give you any ideas. How is Caroline? Did y’all tell Cap?
Jilly:She’s…devastated and insanely happy. She’s bringing a piece of Dicer back into this world, and as sad as it is that he isn’t here, it’s a miracle his kid will exist.
Killer:Perfectly put, my little English major.
Jilly:We haven’t told Cap yet. None of us know how. We’re all pretty terrified he’s going to slit his wrists so he can go bargain with the almighty to trade places with my brother. Any advice?
Killer:It’s going to be hard on him. His guilt is still so fresh and commanding. But surrounding him with love and hope is all you can do. You can’t hide this baby from him. Be honest and tell him you were afraid you’d lose him too. Maybe use the pregnancy a bit. If he were to try something drastic, it would put even more stress on Caroline.
Jilly:Honesty. Who would have thought that was the answer?
Killer:It usually is. Let me know how it goes.
Jilly:Is it weird I wish you weren’t touring and could be with us?
Killer:All of this is a little weird. But I feel honored to be part of it.
Jilly:Will we ever be able to meet in person?
Killer:Yeah, of course. One day.
Jilly:Where are you right now?
Killer:Toronto. Another day, another beige hotel room.
Jilly:Oooo. Lying in bed? What are you wearing?
Killer:Hahahahaha. Nice try, baby. But it’s not time yet.
Jilly:You’re no fun. Do you bring groupies back to your room? I know you’ve got millions of fans begging you to get naked. I’ve read the comment section of your posts.
Killer:Not millions, maybe thousands. And no. No groupies. Not this tour. I used to though, when I was young and stupid. How about you? Any new overly aggressive pricks I should know about?
Jilly:Not since Thurston. I’m knitting now, remember? I need to knit myself a giant dildo.
Killer:Hahahahahaha. Don’t do that. Although it would be a rather impressive display of skill. I’ll send you a link to some things that might hurt less.
Jilly:You’re going to send me dildo recommendations, but I can’t sext you?
Killer:I was going to send vibrators…but okay, dildos it is. And, yes.
