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Jilly:Good, I guess. She was happy and sad at the same time. Like, at first she was all smiles, but then she started to cry. It wasn’t sobs or anything, just this steady stream of tears. From the way the doc and the nurse acted, I got the impression that was a normal occurrence at her appointments.
Killer:I can’t imagine how hard that is for her. How are you?
Jilly:I’m okay. I tried not to get down. I wanted to be so strong for her. But Dicer was missing. He should’ve been there, and he wasn’t, and it was heartbreaking.
Killer:That’s what happens when you lose someone worth missing, someone who loved hard. You feel their absence in everything you do.
Jilly:Cap stayed in the waiting room, but when we walked out, he held his arms open for Caroline, and she cried into his shirt the whole way to the car. I’ve never seen him hold her like that.
Killer:How did that make you feel?
Jilly:I know how Cap feels about Caroline, and I want him to be honest with her and all of us. I want him to hold her. I want him at her appointments. Dicer would too. Dicer wouldn’t want her alone in this life. That wasn’t who he was. He didn’t even know how to be selfish.
Killer: Neither do you, baby.
Jilly:I don’t know about that, but thank you. I’m having dinner with Bent and his new chick next week. Did he tell you about her?
Killer:He did. He invited me to dinner, but I’ll still be on the road.
Jilly:I’m very ready for you to be off the road.
Killer:Same. Injuries are bothering me more than they used to, healing slower too. I’m an old man.
Jilly:You’re a baby.
Killer:No, you’re a baby, and I’m a cradle-robber.
Jilly:This again? Six years is nothing. Plus, we’ve taken our time. So much time. We’ve gotten to know each other. This isn’t some spur-of-the-moment thoughtless hook-up. You can rest easy knowing that you’ve done this right. As annoying as I found it.
Killer:You needed to heal, and I needed to feel okay with how badly I want you.
Jilly:Mmmmmm. You want me? Badly?
Killer:So fucking bad.
Jilly:Longest dry spell of your life, BMX star?
Killer:Longest dry spell since I turned fifteen. But every second has been worth it.
Jilly:Are you scared of what’s next? I kinda am. Like, what if you see me in person and you don’t think I’m all that? Or what if you think my laugh is annoying? I don’t know what I would do without you at this point. I’m scared I’ll be less than you think I am, and then we’ll lose you.
Killer:Baby. Please don’t think that. Don’t think any of that. You’re gorgeous. I know this because I stalk you on social media like a complete psycho. I’m going to love your laugh, because it’s yours. You aren’t going to lose me, any of you.
Jilly:What if we crash and burn?
Killer:I won’t let us.
Jilly:Promise?
Killer:Swear.
Caroline + Killian
Caroline:I’m guessing you were the reason Cap seemed more at ease when he was beside me, and the reason Jilly came back for my ultrasound.
Killian:Feels odd to take credit for any of that. I didn’t tell anyone what you texted Dicer. I simply suggested to Cap that Jilly should go to an appointment.
Caroline:Well, whatever you said, or didn’t say, thank you.
